this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2026
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Mildly Interesting

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My wife now knows not to insist on pure cranberry juice, but rather to request a 100% juice blend and not "cocktail" (the cocktail is what the juice blend goes in). I finished the battery acid myself over the course of a few weeks, out of pure Floridaman cussedness. It was not pleasant.

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[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 50 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Just cut it with equal parts vodka and ice.

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)

That is the exact use case for which it was an abysmal failure.

[–] Canconda@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

You gotta put in enough vodka to cover the cranberry taste. Strongly recommend a 2 drink limit on those.

After a couple I don't taste shit anyways.

[–] Mr_Wobble@thelemmy.club 46 points 2 days ago (6 children)

I remember finding out all that "Cranberry Cocktail" I used to drink had barely any actual cranberry juice in it. I felt ripped off! I want CRANBERRY! Not apple or grape. I then went out and found this pure 100% cranberry juice, feeling very victorious, ready to go home and enjoy some real tart goodness. I poured it in a glass of ice cubes, took a big swig, and OH DEAR GOD I was filled with immediate and complete regret. I had never experienced something quite so dry and bitter. My body completely rejected it.

Eventually ended up mixing just a little bit at a time with some lemonade, and it was pretty good :)

[–] wuffah@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If you want a real shock, start adding sugar and keep track of how much you have to add to make it palatable. It’s basically like drinking soda.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Uh, none? Ice cubes (if it's ice cold, it's fantastic) for daytime, ice cubes and vodka if I have an occasion to drink

[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago

Everyone that has tried 100% cran.

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

It should be sold in chemical supply houses, or maybe restaurant supply houses, but at any rate, it needs to come in a white bottle with black letters and be sold from something called a "supply house."

It turns out there's a newer category that still does the apple and white grape juice, but only that, not the high fructose corn syrup and water from Cranberry Juice Cocktail. I believe the blend is done to skew it more cranberryish as well. That's apparently what my wife was thinking of.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Well now I want to try 100% cranberry juice. I can drink it while picking cranberries in Stardew Valley.

[–] Mr_Wobble@thelemmy.club 6 points 2 days ago

HA! I imagine your session might get a lot less "cozy". Good luck, brave one!

You pick your own fruit in stardew?

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

I went through this PRECISE experience.

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[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 2 days ago

You just mix this with water to get what you want. It's much cheaper than the sugary cocktail crap that's mostly apple juice anyway.

If it's not sweet enough, you can add sugar.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I kept looking for pure cranberry juice and could never find it. Always blended stuff. Finally found it and quickly found out why it's always blended.

Seriously though you get used it and I think it tastes pretty good now. It's certainly out of place in our everything-is-sweetened food industry though.

[–] volvoxvsmarla@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 day ago

I love pure cranberry juice actually. I mean I live in Germany so I cannot drink pure juice anyway, that would be insanity, it has to be at least 50% mixed with sparkling water. And cranberry juice is ideal for a lower juice content spritz when it is hot outside and you're sick of drinking Apfelschorle.

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I mean, water is a solvant, quite often used in industrial applications...

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

Technically correct. As the internet has known for decades, this is the best kind.

[–] pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I should try this, I feel like it's not as bad as you guys all make it sound

[–] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

It's really not lol. You can tell in this thread those who do a bunch of sugar and those who don't

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

It’s drier than I enjoy my wine, but it’s not undrinkable or anything. I would dilute it, just because I would assume that it already has a lot of sugar.

Though my uncle worked auditing cranberry bogs for the MA government (I now realize this might have been kid logic- he did something with cranberries as a state employee, I don’t know exactly what), so I grew up eating cranberries in all their forms.

[–] kinther@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (2 children)

My wife loves tart cherry juice. The good stuff. So I kind of know what you mean

Tart cherry juice is great. Easily drink it straight.

I'll add water to cranberry juice though.

Uh, which good stuff I do not know my cherry juices

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Given the title and being a plastic bottle, I was expecting:

Fabuloso

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Ahh, El Diablo's kool-aid...

Sure does smell nice on floors, though.

[–] CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 2 days ago (3 children)

If you’ve got a UTI, it’s fantastic until you can get antibiotics. I don’t know why anyone would otherwise choose to drink it.

[–] LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyz 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7824375/

Just drinking a lot of water is the best non-antibiotic treatment. Cranberry juice does not significantly impact an active UTI infection. Other much smaller studies indicate that it may be helpful, but the more robust studies show no real help.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29046404/

Other studies do show that cranberry juice can help reduce future UTI occurances though.

[–] Gerudo@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My ex had several UTIs and she said the cranberry helped the pain more than anything.

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

My wife also swears by it, but I'm curious if objective testing might reveal if it's actually relieving pain, or if the act of drinking this stuff is temporarily raising one's pain tolerance to the degree that the UTI pain doesn't seem so bad.

[–] Hegar@fedia.io 6 points 2 days ago

why anyone would otherwise choose to drink it.

Mix in powdered magic mushrooms. Works like lemontek to make the trip shorter and more intense, and masks the difficult-to-get-down flavour.

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[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 8 points 2 days ago

I love that stuff, but yeah for sure it's a real punch in the salivary glands.

[–] Today@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I like it mixed with bubbly water.

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

On the plus side, after they combine, you can poop twice as efficiently because it'll burn you an extra butthole, LOL.

More seriously, at what ratio? The running theme here seems to be that it should be nowhere near the top of an ingredients list.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

10-20% total max.

[–] Today@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Equal parts vodka and juice, top with bubbly water, so about an ounce or two.

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You really REALLY love cranberries to be able to drink this straight. I eat raw cranberries so I love it but its bitter AF

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Dude okay you got me beat. I make the cranberries at the appropriate holiday meals every year. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK the last other person in the family who loved cran died last year. I am going to have to start making less than a gallon.

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I can fix this, invite me over.

And I'm a totally different beast, from Mass. I went to the bogs to get the freshest of the fresh cranberries in season. Also was there for King Richards Faire

/RIP Delores, you passed away too young.

no, you invite ME over. I want to meet a real bogbeast in their native environment. also come on over we'll do tacos.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's a mixer, not a shooter

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Any liquid's a shooter if you shoot it.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

By that logic you could have a “shot” of straight vodka!

I mean - you can see how that’d be crazy, right.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Or if it shoots you. Eh? Think about it.

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[–] stoly@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

lol I remember the first time I tried pure cranberry juice

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 5 points 2 days ago

Im not wild paying cranberry prices for apple so I prefer pure cranberry and cherry. I do blend them myself though more than drink them straight.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Accidentally drinking industrial solvent has to be a daily problem for a lot of people around here because a ton of stores stock Fabuloso (soap) with the juices.

[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

When I was in Zimbabwe I went in several stores that had things like brake fluid and various solvents stored in plastic bottles with labels that look exactly like fruit juices and bottles of water. It would shock me if no one had ever accidentally drank some of one of those.

Edit: found the picture

Well that's because you got sprouts brand not the crantastic Oceanspray

Hey when's that check coming through

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