300g of pasta in bowl, cover with water, microwave, 15 minutes at 800 W (probably shorter for smaller amounts of pasta).

No salt or stirring or anything necessary, always oerfect.

Hydrate your pasta for an hour before cooking. Not only will it not stick, burn, or have undercooked bits, but it will fully cook within a minute. So you can just put it in your sauce directly and skip the boiling step.

Add a dash of olive oil to the boiling water. It won't fucking help, but at least you can fuck up pasta in new and interesting ways.

ITT: I learn that a disturbing amount of people can't even boil pasta correctly.
What the fuck is wrong with people? It's the most basic shit, I don't understand how anyone could fail to do it wrong.

Add salt to the water first

Let it boil 30 sec

Then stir for a few seconds

Thats all you need

Your pasta stick because of starch. Luckily, they release the large majority of their starch in the first minute of cooking, so stir well during the first minute and make sure there's enough water in your pot.

Just use whole wheat pasta.

Stir literally once. No salt, no oil, no additional stirring.

You stir your pasta?

...

I just boil barilla penne in my little rice cooker.

Put in the water, bit of salt, bit of pepper, bit of italian seasoning.

Bring to rolling boil. (this takes ~10min w/ my rice cooker)

Add pasta.

Do nothing, the pasta stirs itself because rolling boil, wait 5 minutes.

Get mitts, keep the lid on the cooker bowl thing, pour out 90%-95% of the water through the vent hole on the lid. Should take another minute or two to empty the water this way.

Slap what remains into a bowl.

Now presumably you also have some pre grated or shredded cheese, as well as some kind of italian sausage or something grilling up on a skillet... flash it if you have to, sear it a bit maybe, the pour marinara over the skillet.

Stir occasionally for maybe 2 minutes, at high heat, now dump all that onto the penne, and then sprinkle on the cheese.

Kablamo, italian pasta from a rice cooker.

Now... the real 'chef's kiss'... also have some italian bread that you've lightly braised with olive oil, dusted with a cheese crumble, and then toasted. Then, have olive oil and/or balsamic vinaggrette as a dipping sauce.

Bellissimo.

You can also dip the toasted bread into the pasta, no one is stopping you.

But yeah basically the trick with pasta is... don't involve the pasta untill the water is well good and angrily boiling.