this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2026
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[–] stermy4u@lemmy.world 123 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Suddenly, conservatives are for a shorter work week.

[–] WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 35 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Nah, they'll just replace everyone with AI & robots. People will be stressed, but it won't be from work - problem solved!

[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Can’t they just hire gay people in the first place? Can’t turn gay if you’re already gay.

Or maybe working hard could make you super gay… or straight? I don’t know how this works.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think it's a bit like the horseshoe theory in politics where the far left and far right agree on some of the same things.

So once you're super gay, you get to fuck super straight guys. That would explain why all these anti-gay politicians keep getting caught banging dudes in airport bathrooms.

[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It all makes sense now. When you max out your straightness value, but keep on pushing, you cause an integer overflow. That’s a sneaky way to end up being super gay.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Exactly! It's like Ghandi in Civilization.

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[–] charonn0@startrek.website 48 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"I'm not gay, I'm overworked."

-That guy

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Right before putting the cock back in his mouth.

[–] WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 44 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Wouldn't that mean like at least half the world would be gay? Where TF do these idiots come up with this shit?

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago

Shut up! I don't want to keep working so much!

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

half the world

Sounds like meat is back on the menu 😏

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can think of a couple of different motivations for this.

He's trying to get ahead of a leak that he's gay.

He's trying to help reduce pressure from employers, in a very odd way.

I'm going with the first one, because people in power don't give a fuck about anyone else.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Option 3: Look what you made him do.

[–] NOPper@lemmy.dbzer0.com 34 points 1 week ago

I'm calling in gay tomorrow and citing a world leader.

[–] Alterecho@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago

saying this while holding one of the most stressful jobs in the world is such a crazy way to come out but pop off king

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago

"I need to suck off a twink to deal with all this stress."

[–] AmyAye@nord.pub 17 points 1 week ago

Finally bigotry I can support.

[–] itsathursday@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

Someone’s got a case of the Malaygays

[–] nehal3m@lemmy.zip 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Jee, I really feel like sucking dick today boss, it’s time I took a few days off.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 7 points 1 week ago

it’s time I took a few days off

... to suck some dick.

[–] Mediocre_Bard_Redeux@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

excessive job stress, social pressure, past sexual experiences, and weak religious practice

Yeah, having past sexual experiences with a same-sex partner will do that.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Being gay in the past is strongly correlated to being gay in the present!

[–] username123@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

Correlation isn’t causation

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[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I feel a little bit gay already, better take the rest of the day off.

[–] minus@lemmy.zip 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is way too real.

I Felt a Little Homosexual Today, So I Called in Sick: The Formation of “Reverse Discourse” by Swedish Gay Activists in the 1970s“

This article revolves around the legal and epistemic battles around “homosexuality” in Sweden in 1979, which led to the abolition of homosexuality being classified as a “disease”. Among other things, gay activists “called in sick” to the Social Insurance Agency (SIA) and claimed that they were unable to work because they were homosexuals (read as mentally disordered).

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13600826.2022.2052025

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That dude looks stressed as fuck.

[–] Muscle_Meteor@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] TammyTobacco@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

10/10 Perfect comment.

[–] Racoonwithbenefits@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Maybe gay sex relives stress

[–] Zier@fedia.io 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] sundray@lemmus.org 4 points 1 week ago

Stress goes down, go to work. Work stress builds up, get to fuckin'. Stress goes down, back to work...

Wait a minute, I'm just describing the last ten years of my life.

[–] Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well yeah, obviously. Work stress is alleviated by more money, and $20 bucks is $20 bucks.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Omg, I honestly didn't see that coming, well done.

[–] Atomic@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He's right though, there i am, working my ass off, deadlines that fall behind and people running left and rightto catch the post-truck with that last minute delivery for the day, and all of a sudden, there we both stand, exhausted, over worked, and just start to furiously make out.

It's a real problem. And i for one am glad someone is taking this with the seriousness it deserves.

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[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What country was it that had people calling in gay to work because their government classified it as an illness, again? 🤔

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

I'm like, super stressed you guys. Frankly, if you want me to straighten out, we probably all ought to revert to a 32 hour work week, better yet, 24 with full time pay. That ought to sploosh relief right into me. Us. It's science!

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I hate my coworkers so much I want to suck all their dicks. I'm not gay, but damn, I feel like the only relief I can get is if they relieve themselves... in my mouth. And my throat. And maybe my butt... but I need to get these stress related hemorrhoids checked first. Shit, I forgot, I don't have healthcare. Now I have to suck some nurse dick. It's gonna be a long weekend. Maybe if I get everyone together in the same room we can get it all over at once. Just... not in my eyes, please.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 9 points 1 week ago

So basically, most of the world is gay? Cool.

[–] fork@feddit.online 9 points 1 week ago

Of course! That's why I keep thinking about being spitroasted. Obviously. Why else would I think that? Of course I don't actually want to do that. Why would I? Just work stress. Clearly.

[–] Lamplighter@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Working hard or hardly working, eh?

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Shill account for townflex dot com

The response to that is "If that is the case, why aren't you sucking dick?"

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Fuck man, I must be one of the gayest people on earth then. Get it? Fuck man? Hahaha.... I'm sorry.

[–] charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

fuck, didn't even know it. i'm gay now since I've had some stress at work

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Wanna 69? I've been working a lot of overtime lately.

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

"We've changed our minds , no more layoffs... Now is the time for lay ONS!!!! And instead of 'line goes up' another thing goes up now and it has... Infinite growth"

[–] dan69@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Anything to get out of work huh. Sounds weird to get 3-4 day work week.

Ohhh so that’s why I love cock so much

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