No Stupid Questions

If it does not interfere with your life, then it's not a problem.

Might be a hot take, but:

• Sex is completely normal and natural.
• Most of the sex addiction discourse is astroturfed by christian fundamentalists.
• Most of the sex addiction stories I've read so far is just people wishing their life back before they had those weird urges, that came at a time they're way too immature for them mentally.
• Unless you're some variant of asexual, you will have sexual needs. They're hardwired into you. Please them as long as
  • the way of pleasing them won't harm you,
  • it doesn't violate someone's consent.
• The "grindset" is toxic, people should work less than 40 hours/week by this point, not 100 hours. The problem isn't too much time for sex but rather not enough time for it.

It's a sin so never. /s

cis man here. I'd say everyone should either have sex or masturbate once a day. but the thought of multiple times a day feels exhausting. if you have the time and are happy with it though, don't let peer pressure make you feel any bad. actually I'd push against my friends and say once a day confidently. maybe that's what they're missing in their lives. act like they're the crazy ones. like why not?

I'm a 48yo guy but for what it's worth, when I don't masturbate it's usually a sign of depression.
Once or twice a day sounds normal to me, like going to the toilets.

Satisfying sex will satiate me for much longer than a quick wank though.

I'd comment on my wife but I think her aphantasia and almost complete ignorance of porn makes her particularly uncommon, regarding masturbation.

When I was a teenager and early 20s, a few times a day, tbh. Holy shit, when I was a teenager, i was so fucking horny, like all the fucking time. then my twenties were the same, my thirties were very very different (next to no libido). these days? Almost never anymore. Just don't have a libido anymore :/ I am a bit of an old codger though. So maybe that explains it?

Guy in my 20s. I do it about 3-4 times a week sometimes less. Usually not 2 days in a row. I don't think my gf does it at all sadly.

Currently with new partner and am not feeling the need hardly ever. It's been maybe two weeks. FYI she is 30something and is the same. We were both 'once a day occasionally twice' before we met. I feel my penis needs a bit of a break sometimes heh.

personally, 3-4 times a day.

that's mostly because the world is going to shit and I need that dopamine boost.

I'm a man in my 30s and I do around 5x per week.

20s XY man here, 2-3 times a day is perfect, but sometimes down to 1

Gf (20s XX woman) can do anything from once a month to twice a day depending on the horniness

20s male. Generally once per day but I find it's easier and easier to forget and I sometimes go a week without thinking about it. I rarely if ever do 2. I've gotta cool down for 20 minutes between, which gives a lot of time to realise I should be doing something else.

1-2 daily sounds totally within normal range.

could be ADHD and a lack of dopamine

Have you considered that the friends might be insincere about their own frequency too? In many societies masturbation is considered shameful. Even when people admit they do it, they might not want you to think they do it "too much".

32M single, at least once a week. But there are periods where I get super horny and do the deed several days in succession (once per day, probably 3 days a week), these usually happen every 1-2 months.

After seeing the replies here I wonder if my libido is lower than average.

Enough to take the edge off, not so often it interfers with your life. The number will be different for every person and different at every stage of life for a person.

normal to do it a few times a day.

29 year old woman. A few times a week, on average, I'd say. Potentially multiple times in a day.

When I have a partner, I tend to do it way less though, because I find that the sex is way better if I refrain from masturbating. Orgasms from masturbation aren't particularly satisfying for me unless I try to do a whole build up that I rarely have the time or energy for.

Worth mentioning that autism makes my general sensory experience pretty weird — I'm hypersensitive to most stimuli, and that also affects touch. This feeds into my above preferences in complex ways.

I also have a few physical disabilities that mean I'm less likely to be able to enjoy sexual pleasure as much unless I'm in the right mindset (i.e. chronic pain can distract from the physical pleasure).

It's possible that you're ahead of the curve when it comes to knowing what you like. I had a friend who was capable of reaching orgasm through masturbation, but it took so much effort that she rarely did it. Then she had a partner who helped her to figure out her own idiosyncratic preferences in terms of what she needed to reach orgasm, and that sparked a period where she "felt like a teenage boy" with how often she was masturbating. She was 32 at this point.

I have another friend who didn't even orgasm until she was 31 due to only having dated guys who were stereotypical straight dudes, which had calibrated her bar of what to expect super low (not just in what she expected from partners, but in terms of what sexual pleasure could feel like in general).

Another friend didn't masturbate at all until she was 28 (with the exception of some occasional pillow humping that she would feel tremendous shame about) due to religious trauma.

Unfortunately, the society we live in doesn't really equip women well to be able to come to understand our bodies and communicate our sexual needs. A lot of my friends in their 30s (especially the women) have said that they're loving their 30s way more than their 20s because of this kind of thing. 30 is still relatively young, so maybe (likely in addition to a naturally higher libido) you just have figured out what you like sooner than your friends have. Maybe some of them are yet to have an awakening of some sort, and the average rate of masturbation will be higher in a few years.

Some days I don't do it but im getting old. Admitadely you need some privacy unless you are intentionally sharing the experience. I have used it to reduce pain with medical things and then it was a lot as it does not last all that long.

I think it averages out to once a day, maybe once and a half.

On weekdays mostly in the evening, sometimes in the morning, some days not at all. On the weekends often twice a day. Sometimes three or even four a day, but that happens only if I'm using toys, just manually it feels a bit raw after two.

32, male, happily single.

From what I gathered, it's weird if you don't stop for food, or in public. Other than that it's more or less normal.

I don't think "normal" is a helpful frame of mind here. Maybe "healthy" is a better way to see it : does it make you feel good ? Does it feel like a healthy part of your life ? I don't want to decide for you, but from your other comments it seems like it probably is.

I would call it a problem if it becomes an obsession, if it takes time away from other things you want to do, if you do it so much you hurt yourself... Etc.

Username checks out

Middle aged male. Depends on what's going on in life. Usually once every couple of days. Sometimes go a couple of weeks or more without. Other times multiple shots per day.

Trans woman. My libido is less assertive when I'm on feminising hormones. I can kinda forget to and maybe only do it once every few days. Whenever I go off HRT for any reason and my T rises, my penis usually tells me what we're going to do first thing in the morning and before bed.

As much as you want to is normal. Suppressing your libido to fit in is not normal.

As long as it isn’t interfering with your life, flick that bean. It’s not hurting anyone.

You don’t need to compare yourself to others. They’re not you. Twice a day doesn’t sound excessive to me. 20 times a day might, but twice? It’s your body.

Also keep in mind female masturbation has, until recently, been discouraged by western culture as deviant. It may be that some of your friends are downplaying their own regularity for social pressure (you already mentioned you vocally agree with what they say – others are probably doing that, too).

I do it every month or so for the dopamine, but I’m asexual. I’d say even a few times every day is fine. If you think it’s disruptive to your life, I’d recommend therapy, but that’s like if you can’t focus in a meeting because you haven’t done it for an hour and that’s all you can think about. Otherwise, just enjoy yourself. You’re fine.