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CDC Stopped Monitoring Parasite, Now Causing Explosive Diarrhea Across The Country
(www.huffpost.com)
Don't look up!
this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2026
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Yesterday: Nobody gets that anymore, we don't have to monitor it any more.
Today: Turns out, the reason nobody was getting that, was because we were monitoring it.
NOBODY could have predicted that!
Its like having a functional IT department.
That's because the parasite got into Ole Gravel Gullet's brain, fucked the dead worm, and then hijacked his last 6 brain cells to make the old bastard his puppet.
Heeey, the less we monitor it, the easier it gets to monitor it. That's a win win!
'member when we stopped monitoring pandemic hotbeds like Wuhan? I 'member
Or the flesh-eating screwworm flies?
and since then every other respiratory illness, we saw a rise in the others on too.
Well, let's just stop tracking those, too, then; problem solved!
It's because the worm in his brain is constantly spewing verbal diarrhea.
Brainworm man is pro worm. long live shitworm disease.
Is there any chance that his brain worm might finish the job? I’ve had enough about hearing of his continuing insanity and would like for him and his boss to go away.
It had died in his brain, from what I remember him having said.
Maybe it laid eggs in there before dying. It's what I would have done.
way i hear it, the poor little guy starved to death...
Sadly, the "worm" here only means infectious software defect.
The rumor is that this parasite is what killed Lindsey Graham.
It's a rumor I'm starting, so pass it along.
You're like the tenth person I've heard that from.
Am I helping?
I heard it from the mayor
poor man was so anal retentive that he was full of shit.
It's why he shit was coming out of his mouth all the time. So full that it constantly backed up. Anal retention is dangerous, kids.
Huffpost Stopped Using Punctuation in Article Titles Now Causing Even Worse Titles are Unreadable
The title is correct and needs no punctuation, though it is hard to read. They stopped monitoring the parasite that is now causing diarrhea.
Witnessing the fall of an empire in real time
Putin's trying to out-do us. 'hold my beer'
makes it go away faster
I mean, we all learned that is the best way to reduce cases...
You'll probably find that the EPA rollbacks we've been doing around irrigation laws is what's causing the issue in the first place. Too much poop in the salad mix.
Exactly why I don’t buy American produce, and strongly advise others against it as well.
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wait, haven't you switched to a beef tallow and raw milk diet yet?
We took a personification of disease, and made him Health Secretary. Dafuq did we expect would happen?
Shitting ourselves is far from the worst case scenario here.
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MAGAts are bringing so many good things to America.
We should all be thanking our local magats by getting them fired from their jobs, even if it means lying, and stomping them in the streets
When we said the US were becoming a shithole... we didn't expect them to become one so literally.
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The age of men is over. The time of poopie doop has begun.
"Hurr", explained Health Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr, further elucidating with, "Duh-Durr!"
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Worthy of Onion News.
Politician well known for explosive diarrhea also found associated with recent parasite
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