this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2026
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Dad for a Minute

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If you need encouragement, advice or just a hug this is the right community for you. Your "dad for a minute" is here to help. Moms are welcome too.

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I wish I felt less disposable (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 months ago by andros_rex@lemmy.world to c/dadforaminute@lemmy.world
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Dad didn’t visit me in the hospital or call. I almost died and nothing.

He’s not even my real dad, I’m a rape baby. I met my real dad and he doesn’t want me either.

My ex husband got to kick me out my home. It was probably illegal, but no one cared because he had money.

I’ve had multiple jobs fire me after finding out I was trans - despite loving the work I did. Despite me being good at what I do.

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[–] tae_glas@slrpnk.net 30 points 3 months ago

you're not disposable. their behaviour isn't because of who you are, but the kind of person that they each are. ❤️‍🩹

you've been through so much and you're still here, showing up every day. you're brave and you're determined, and the world needs more people like you!

i wish you didn't have to fight through so much in your life, though; you deserve a life filled with love and people who not only accept you for who you are, but who are actively drawn to you because of your you-ness!

for what it's worth, your internet dad's proud of you and is rooting for you 💚

[–] IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 16 points 3 months ago

the way that those people treated you says more about them than you

[–] SpacePanda@mander.xyz 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Idk what to say honestly, but, you are not disposable. You've just had some bad luck meeting some shitty people. Im really sorry that you've been having it rough. Give it time, things will get better. Ive been though some shit and would have never thought I'd be where I am now. Nothing's perfect, but, you can find your own peace. Value yourself and your time with you. Read, go to a coffee shop and watch people, take yourself out for dinner. Do something for you, treat yourself, you deserve it.

Oh and fuck those people who treated you that way. You dont need that shit in your life

[–] Nooodel@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Hey kid, You almost died? That sounds super scary and I'm really glad that you made it. Sucks that your dad didn't come and visit you.

What was the thing you were most looking forward to when finally coming out of there again?

Not all days are good days, but the people around you don't get to define who you are. I know it's hard sometimes but they have no right to it and even if they turn out to be giant assholes that doesn't mean you are worth less by any means. The fact that you're still here, still getting up again after reach hard blow means you're worth more than all of them together.

And honestly? There are great people out there. Don't give up. Same qualification as your peers, I'd hire the trans person every time. Bc I know you had to fight so much harder to get there.

And if you need some time away from wearing your grown up boots and just want to be small again for a time? That's so OK. We all need that sometimes. Come around here. We'll always find some time to listen to your stories and make you feel heard and appreciated as the amazing kid you are. Big hug from your dad for a minute ❤️

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I appreciate this.

The thing I looked forward to most about home was getting to make art. I did a puppet show a weekend ago and got to give out my art prints. I’ve carved a bunch of linocut blocks and I leave my art in shopping carts too.

[–] Nooodel@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Nice. What play did you perform on your puppet show? And if it isn't asking for too much, would you share a photo of one of your artworks? I did a limocut once in school, most memorable arts lesson I had since I still got the scar from cutting my thumb down to the sinew

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

My puppet show was a brief sketch about vinegaroons. I got to attack my audience with vinegar to show off their defense mechanism, which was fun.

I’ve been making lots of arthropods. I’m not very good so I try to pick things with really distinctive and easy to draw body shapes. I didn’t realize it was possible to cut yourself with the carving tools 😨

[–] Nooodel@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

🙂Sounds like you had fun and the audience had at least one surprise moment, got to learn something and I bet also got to laugh. Seems like you're adding to people's lives kid. And I really like the art. Not everything needs to be super intricate and detailed and what not. I believe art exists to spark emotions, and make people stop and think. Not to compare against other art.

[–] SpongyAneurysm@feddit.org 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I’m not very good so I try to pick things with really distinctive and easy to draw body shapes.

I have to disagree sharply here. Those arthropodes are super cute and I'd say that is very good.

In my limited experience, a huge part of art is to fit your designs to the chosen medium of expression. Media have their own limitations and figuring out what those are, where your own limitations lie in working with a medium and then choosing to create something that works well within those limitations is part of the deal.

It seems to me you're doing exactly that, and judging by your results, you're doing so successfully. That is, pretty good.

Only critique I can find is, that your spider seems to have an extra pair of legs. Unless those are supposed to be pedipalps. But maybe you could design those a bit more distinct from the rest.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Thank you! It’s intended to be a solifuge which are often called “camel spiders” despite not being spiders. I was really struggling with the pedipalps.

[–] SpongyAneurysm@feddit.org 2 points 2 months ago

Ah, I get. I had a feeling, I was mansplaining there for a bit. You seem to know your arthropodes.
But yeah, that's a tough one.

I guess it's a-okay to draw them that way. A casual observer would probably identify those huge pedipalps as legs on the real spider a well.

And nitpicks aside: it's a really cute design anyway.