No Stupid Questions

No one compliments you on your big words because no one likes you.

Education is frowned upon - has been since the 80s. It used to be that intelligent, educated people drew respect. Now the school heroes are the football players, and the math-heads and other nerds either pretend to be dumb to avoid trouble, or they get trouble.

And that's why you have Donald Trump as president, who has the vocabulary of a child: he speaks the language of the ignoramus class.

Because 9 times out of 10, using big words doesn't make you sound smart; it makes you sound pretentious.

English is a second language for my wife, when she uses an unusual word or idiom I'm genuinely impressed, and tell her so.

I'm very proud of her <3

I complimented my doctor the other day for an interesting word choice.

He blushed.

Cool dude too

My friends and I do this all the time. Someone used "deliquesce" properly the other day and we all nearly lost it!

Maybe your friends are shit?

They do!

But it's rare for multiple reasons.

First, both the listener and the speaker have to know the word, because otherwise there's no reason to compliment it

Second, the listener (or reader, but I'm too lazy to type both every damn time) has to care about word usage, and it's kinda niche.

Third, there's a significant degree of anti-intellectual belief out in the world, so that segment is going to have the opposite response, and they're prone to being obnoxious about it.

Fourth, giving compliments is not something everyone is good at, so there's a segment that might appreciate it, but not know how to express it.

Fifth, a corollary to the fourth, it can feel awkward to give compliments, so it gets shoved avoided, which is partly due to sixth:

Sixth, as a culture, complimenting someone is a complicated social action. There's all kinds of little unspoken rules around it, and that makes a lot of people just nope out entirely.

But if you hang around people that enjoy word play and vocabulary, you'll see a lot more compliments :)

People are more likely to get compliments on proper word play than simply being able to use a thesaurus and dictionary.

There’s nothing wrong with using “ecclesiastical” when it’s the right word. The problem starts when every sentence arrives dressed for high mass.

;)

I had a friend who would drop a sing-songy "Word point!" after a great word. It was nice because it was a quick interjection that acknowledged the word without derailing the conversation.

I hate it when people stop a conversation to talk about a word I used. It doesn't land as a complement.

Hey, great use of the word "How". You really nailed it!

😛

I think people do sometimes. More so in writing, than in conversation. But, it's too meta. If you're just trying to have a conversation and someone interrupts you to say, "Hey, great use of that word!", that's probably not what you were trying to convey and is distracting. I suggest saving that for word games.

One thing you could do is to ask what a word means. Most people are happy to explain that, and would take it as a compliment of sorts, without getting miffed.

Before a compliment is given, it has to hit a very narrow sweet spot between common usage and too obscure. Common equals no compliments.
Too obscure and you don't know it's meaning or if it adds anything of value. You spend the time you'd be giving a compliment asking what it means and the conversation train has broken down. The most compliment deserving are word or short phrases that distill complicated ideas into something simpler - more elegant. But let's face it, for many of us, written and verbal communication is hard.

I compliment people using good words, but that's very subjective. Usually it's an old fashioned or a bit unknown, but perfect for the situation. But the compliment would be something like: "first of all, good word, second... * Whatever the conversation was about*"

I'm also a fan of good names.

I would say truly good word usage should go unnoticed. If the fact that you're using a lot of big words sticks out, that means you're using too many.

I compliment people on using "SAT" words when it is appropriate. I think its pretty easy to tell when someone is puffing themselves up by using big words, versus when someone is actually using an exact word to provide better insight into a discussion.

Mind you I do hang out with a lot of over educated/well read people. I also just compliment people more often than the average person (read i compliment people a LOT and much of it is random people). So that might just be a me thing.

I've been complimented on my word choices before, and I've complimented others as well. But it doesn't come up often. Even when an interesting word is used, it's not always the right time or place to explicitly compliment the speaker on it.

Because fluency in your native language is a basic human skill that should be a minimum for functional adulthood, maybe? Because it's not my job to congratulate you for existing?

Damn. People want to be coddled on everything these days.

Because people who use hyper specific words are either trying to make themselves look smart, or are using them in a specific context where saying 'good job on knowing a common word in this area of knowledge' is kinda patronising.

Would you congratulate your kid on saying turn 'the spigot off' instead of saying 'turn the tap off' in the kitchen? You shouldn't, because a spigot is an outdoor thing.