Me_irl : me

[–] brem@lemmy.world 71 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Thy forgot to specify who/what time stops for", quirked the Djin

The crowd at the bar continued to go about their lives, seemingly unaware that the person sitting alone with an oil lamp did not, indeed, suffer a stroke... but was frozen in time.

Days went by, and the person at the table became a curiosity. They did not die of thirst after 3 days. They did not starve after 3 weeks. They did not breathe. Their hair did not grow, nor their nails.

Months went by. The dust wasn't a problem because it had become almost a tradition upon bar patrons to rub or grind upon the frozen sitter.

WRITER'S NOTE: FOR PART TWO PLEASE INSERT COIN

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 50 points 1 day ago (1 children)

🪙🤏

[–] brem@lemmy.world 41 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

"Thank's for the coin, Brave Little Hitachi Wand....better than the toaster!", the Djin cheered delightfully. "Now where where we? It's been years. Oh, I remember now!"

"..Bartender! A drink please! I'll pay with this coin!"

As the Djin takes a shot of cheap whiskey he smiles through everyone's screens and snaps. The jukebox in the bar featured within this very story begins playing Monster Magnet's "Space Lord"

and the story continues..

For a while it was a tradition to dress the frozen sitter in flamboyant garb on Tuesdays. Tuesday, as you know, isn't a great day for bar people. The bar, now named "Get Shit Faced With Sitter" had seen many tourists over the years, but had fallen into decline in recent. The chair of which the sitter once sat upon had rotted. It had been replaced twice with golden barstools (which in turn had both been stolen). Now it was a simple chair made of wicker, originating from a meme based on The Sitter fighting John Wick.

Was, a simple wicker chair.

As The Sitter once again fell to the floor, a voice called out from a back room behind the bar.

"Frank, The Shitter fell over again! Come pick them up before someone puts more tattoos on the face!"

"I'm busy, Charlie!" the voice responded "I'm polishing the lamp...and stop calling it The Shitter!"

POOF: THE WRITER REQUIRES YET ANOTHER COIN TO CONTINUE THIS STORY

[–] derpgon@programming.dev 26 points 1 day ago (1 children)

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ 🪙

[–] brem@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"(シ_ _)シ Thank you Derpgon", the Djin emojis in gratitude. "A.I. ain't got shit on my stories!"

The Djin; pulling out a smallish leather satchel, is mimicking a watering can. The Djin, leaning over in his glorious golden trousers/pantaloons/pants/lowergarb with blue stripes in a zig-zag pattern...yet somewhy no pockets, looks into & somehow also through your phone screen & sprinkles some dust into a fire in the corner, which has been now started using wicker chairs.

"Welcome to the last part, dear readers and watchers. It's a thriller, this one."

Decades had passed. The bar (previous owners all eaten during the starving days) had now been turned strategically into a daycare. By law, only one living adult need watch more than 500 children; and legally, The Sitter was still alive. During the regulated recess that was allotted twice weekly, one of the worker-children saw a very pretty & ornate brass oil lamp.

A lamp I call home.

"Oi" I says. "Would you mind puttin' another coin in, someone!?

I had lied about this being the last one. All sense of what perspective this story was written in was scattered more than a detective dime-novel version of 'Moby Dick''. Was it past or present!? First, second or third? And what about that lamp!?!?

TUNE IN NEXT TIME DEAR READERS, AFTER THE NEXT COIN!

[–] brem@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Not much time had passed since the Djin, of whom you are hearing now; last visited this tale of which you are reading now.

The worker, an orphaned & adorable young Andorian (which turned out to be a real thing, btw) picked up the wonderfully stenciled brass lamp & noticed a note (written in the Andorian mothertongue language, Latin... coincidentally) & read it aloud in the form of English Cockney Rhyming Slang.

"Apples And Pears

Raspberry Tart.

Circle of Change

Free my heart"

Suddenly a loud flatulating could/can/is be felt everywhere in the once-a-bar-now-a-mcdonalds-labour-center(for kids)

It wasn't subtle & those readers expecting more felt disappointed. Or would feel disappointment.

A Djin then appeared, simple text at the beginning of a simple meme about freezing time. A meme featuring the dad from The Incredibles. The young Andorian had no problem seeing it, because things like this were constantly being fed into their retinas..as well as the countdown for return to building McBeds. Mandatory break, the Andorian thought to itself.

The Andorian knew what to do. Grabbing the carved totem of a sitting figure which clung around it's neck on a string, it felt the urge to respond to the text with a coin symbol.

POOF. "Most people try to rub the lamp. You have no idea how long I've been watching people vandalize this idiot.", the appearing Djin said as he pointed towards the necklace around the young Andorian's blue neck.

"That idiot's first wish was to be a meme lord and his second was to have the ability to make the meme come true, so contractually I'm obligated to wait around until someone resets me.. third wish and all. I at least am able to roam free throughout the Internet, from the time of it's conception to the time of it's inevitable demise, for some reason. Probably has something to do with being terminally online. Anyway, what is your wish?"

"My wish is for you to continue doing this, it might give someone a chuckle someday", said the tiny blue orphan.

That'll do, Djin. That'll do?

Insert Coin for more?

[–] sneezycat@sopuli.xyz 8 points 20 hours ago

👛🐝 rumble rumble
...
...bzzzzzzt 🪙🐝 clink

[–] Janx@piefed.social 2 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Subscribe

[–] pomegranatefern@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 hours ago

Also subscribing

[–] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If time is stopped for the sitter, being able to manipulate his body (tattoos) means the Djin was stretching the rules a bit.

[–] brem@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

perchance the Djin is the one telling the story? This would mean the Djin is free, unless forced to tell this story...

[–] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 3 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

I think you misunderstood me. Without time passing in the body of the "sitter", he can't be tattooed. Arguably, you couldn't even manipulate the relative position of a single atom to another within his body, much less penetrate the skin with a needle.

[–] bampop@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

If time were slowed down for the sitter, it would seem that everything else is moving at high speed and thus any contact with the outside world would be like getting hit by a bullet. From the perspective of other people it would be as if the sitter were made of aerogel. You could just smush their bones and internal organs around with no effort at all. Since time is stopped the effect must be even more pronounced and the sitter would be obliterated by absolutely anything

[–] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

That's not the premise of the story. Time is stopped for them. You can't move any object without time passing.

[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

It could be more like pens and marker on the surface, rather than needled tattoos. That might work, and still ‘count’ as tattoo for narrative purposes. But really the same problem applies with the chair situation, which is arguably harder to explain away, since he falls to the floor without the chair. Really, if his time is fully stopped, he should be hovering when chair-less.

Perhaps time isn’t really fully stopped, so he can be aware of whats going on (as it sounds like he might be). That sounds very much like a djinn thing to do.

[–] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

I agree on the last bit, and also on the pens and markers. The chair thing is a gray area - I could picture time being frozen within the silhouette of the person, while gravity still applies to the object (gray area because gravitons) and it can fall, just not take any damage.

[–] mo_lave@reddthat.com 1 points 12 hours ago

So it's not the same type of Stand as Star Platinum.

[–] minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 52 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You don't realize it because that requires thought, which occurs across time, which you just stopped.

[–] ToaLanjiao@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I.e. you dont notice. Nobody in the universe does, unless tuey have the time gem. You just snap your fingers and it restarts if/ when the effect wear out.

Source: i snap my fingers all the time.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I actually think about this a lot. I'll have a brain glitch or something and wonder if it was a time controller stopping and then continuing the moment. Then i think about if i would notice it at all. Etc. etc.

[–] Tonava@sopuli.xyz 2 points 11 hours ago

If it was a time stop with nothing else with it, you wouldn't be able to notice, since just nothing would exist until things continue like nothing happened. You can argue that a true time stop wouldn't happen at all, since it takes no time

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Lil Jon, what you doin on the fediverse

[–] Sexy-Animal-Fucker@thebrainbin.org 51 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I would use this power to stay at the petting zoo forever frozen successfully doing what I got banned for

[–] hirihit640@sh.itjust.works 41 points 1 day ago

took me a while to notice the username

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 15 points 1 day ago

Balls deep in the sexiest animal there?

[–] Sunshine@reddthat.com 3 points 17 hours ago

can’t snap Time stops for no one. Sorry my fine motor skills are garbage.

[–] Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

I want to be able to stop time only for people on earth and animals, it should NOT stop time for me, light, electricity, sound, hormones and anything produced by my body, i should be able to freely move in the frozen time and no person or animal frozen in time should be able to remember or see what happen when i freeze time, my wish should also rewrite the laws of the universe and physics to allow such a power as time freezing

[–] Lumisal@lemmy.world 8 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

You never said you wanted to be able to unfreeze time.

Enjoy the silence

[–] Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 5 points 23 hours ago

OH SHIT I FORGOT-

oh right, i guess no one is gonna read this comment, i froze time 😭

[–] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

If you have to be this specific, the Djin will have a field day with you :)

[–] bloomnolia@lemmy.world 1 points 18 hours ago

Perfect, we're alllllll taking a long timeout babe 🫰😉💋

[–] zr0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 20 hours ago

That will also stop light from moving. The second image should be black.

[–] rautapekoni@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago

I guess not being able to snap my fingers is a superpower after all.

me_irl