this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2026
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me_irl
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"(シ_ _)シ Thank you Derpgon", the Djin emojis in gratitude. "A.I. ain't got shit on my stories!"
The Djin; pulling out a smallish leather satchel, is mimicking a watering can. The Djin, leaning over in his glorious golden trousers/pantaloons/pants/lowergarb with blue stripes in a zig-zag pattern...yet somewhy no pockets, looks into & somehow also through your phone screen & sprinkles some dust into a fire in the corner, which has been now started using wicker chairs.
"Welcome to the last part, dear readers and watchers. It's a thriller, this one."
Decades had passed. The bar (previous owners all eaten during the starving days) had now been turned strategically into a daycare. By law, only one living adult need watch more than 500 children; and legally, The Sitter was still alive. During the regulated recess that was allotted twice weekly, one of the worker-children saw a very pretty & ornate brass oil lamp.
A lamp I call home.
"Oi" I says. "Would you mind puttin' another coin in, someone!?
I had lied about this being the last one. All sense of what perspective this story was written in was scattered more than a detective dime-novel version of 'Moby Dick''. Was it past or present!? First, second or third? And what about that lamp!?!?
TUNE IN NEXT TIME DEAR READERS, AFTER THE NEXT COIN!
Not much time had passed since the Djin, of whom you are hearing now; last visited this tale of which you are reading now.
The worker, an orphaned & adorable young Andorian (which turned out to be a real thing, btw) picked up the wonderfully stenciled brass lamp & noticed a note (written in the Andorian mothertongue language, Latin... coincidentally) & read it aloud in the form of English Cockney Rhyming Slang.
"Apples And Pears
Raspberry Tart.
Circle of Change
Free my heart"
Suddenly a loud flatulating could/can/is be felt everywhere in the once-a-bar-now-a-mcdonalds-labour-center(for kids)
It wasn't subtle & those readers expecting more felt disappointed. Or would feel disappointment.
A Djin then appeared, simple text at the beginning of a simple meme about freezing time. A meme featuring the dad from The Incredibles. The young Andorian had no problem seeing it, because things like this were constantly being fed into their retinas..as well as the countdown for return to building McBeds. Mandatory break, the Andorian thought to itself.
The Andorian knew what to do. Grabbing the carved totem of a sitting figure which clung around it's neck on a string, it felt the urge to respond to the text with a coin symbol.
POOF. "Most people try to rub the lamp. You have no idea how long I've been watching people vandalize this idiot.", the appearing Djin said as he pointed towards the necklace around the young Andorian's blue neck.
"That idiot's first wish was to be a meme lord and his second was to have the ability to make the meme come true, so contractually I'm obligated to wait around until someone resets me.. third wish and all. I at least am able to roam free throughout the Internet, from the time of it's conception to the time of it's inevitable demise, for some reason. Probably has something to do with being terminally online. Anyway, what is your wish?"
"My wish is for you to continue doing this, it might give someone a chuckle someday", said the tiny blue orphan.
That'll do, Djin. That'll do?
Insert Coin for more?
👛🐝 rumble rumble
...
...bzzzzzzt 🪙🐝 clink
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