109
Masturbation among birds is ‘natural’ and should not be punished, say experts
(www.theguardian.com)
Who, pray tell, is suggesting birds be punished for it?
this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2026
109 points (100.0% liked)
Science Memes
20360 readers
2310 users here now
Welcome to c/science_memes @ Mander.xyz!
A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.
Rules
- Don't throw mud. Behave like an intellectual and remember the human.
- Keep it rooted (on topic).
- No spam.
- Infographics welcome, get schooled.
This is a science community. We use the Dawkins definition of meme.
Research Committee
Other Mander Communities
Science and Research
Biology and Life Sciences
- !abiogenesis@mander.xyz
- !animal-behavior@mander.xyz
- !anthropology@mander.xyz
- !arachnology@mander.xyz
- !balconygardening@slrpnk.net
- !biodiversity@mander.xyz
- !biology@mander.xyz
- !biophysics@mander.xyz
- !botany@mander.xyz
- !ecology@mander.xyz
- !entomology@mander.xyz
- !fermentation@mander.xyz
- !herpetology@mander.xyz
- !houseplants@mander.xyz
- !medicine@mander.xyz
- !microscopy@mander.xyz
- !mycology@mander.xyz
- !nudibranchs@mander.xyz
- !nutrition@mander.xyz
- !palaeoecology@mander.xyz
- !palaeontology@mander.xyz
- !photosynthesis@mander.xyz
- !plantid@mander.xyz
- !plants@mander.xyz
- !reptiles and amphibians@mander.xyz
Physical Sciences
- !astronomy@mander.xyz
- !chemistry@mander.xyz
- !earthscience@mander.xyz
- !geography@mander.xyz
- !geospatial@mander.xyz
- !nuclear@mander.xyz
- !physics@mander.xyz
- !quantum-computing@mander.xyz
- !spectroscopy@mander.xyz
Humanities and Social Sciences
Practical and Applied Sciences
- !exercise-and sports-science@mander.xyz
- !gardening@mander.xyz
- !self sufficiency@mander.xyz
- !soilscience@slrpnk.net
- !terrariums@mander.xyz
- !timelapse@mander.xyz
Memes
Miscellaneous
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
Cardinals
I guess I'll have to stop choking my chicken, then.
Exactly, your chicken should be choking herself as is natural
The Goon Lord
That's a girl
She can be a Goon Lord too. I see no hint of shame in those eyes.
Masturbation ~~among birds~~ is ‘natural’ and should not be punished. It's interesting how humanity has regulated its own biological behavior, we have rules for where and how to eat, sleep, defecate, urinate, menstruate, reproduce, masturbate, etc. I get that some of these came from hygiene and personal safety but still find it weird, and even weirder that some people expect birds to follow our social constructs.
... TIL people were punishing their fucking birds for whacking it.
TIL that birds masturbate.
But the bird will go TO HELL
I've seen a cockatoo once who would go crazy for one of his owner's old slippers, courting and then fucking it. The most the owner did was to buy herself a new pair of slippers, and leave the old one so the bird could have his fun.
I guess the idea of punishing him never went through her mind. Or mine, really; c'mon, birds don't understand decorum, and the whole thing was hilarious and obviously harmless to the bird.
I'll just cross bird masturbation off my list of world problems then. Let's see... here it is on page 1129.
A link to an article isn't a meme.
My parakeet was fucking a swing perch in his cage. It was hanging perpendicular to another perch, so he would grab the swings from the side and go on his rodeo.
But personality was important to him, so every 15 seconds he would run to another "floor" where he had a mirror, say his version of "oh baby yeah it feels so good, call me your bird!" and then would run back upstairs to continue