ItsMe

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YawningNostalgia@thelemmy.club

It's okay if nobody reads this but I don't know how to approach relationships (thelemmy.club)

submitted 1 month ago by YawningNostalgia@thelemmy.club to c/ItsMe@thelemmy.club

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I feel strange. I am going out with someone who never makes me laugh but is kind and helpful. He helped me set up my hammock but he doesn't get my humor and when I try to show him what I'm interested in he acts like my cat when I show him that I'm eating something he won't like. Sniffs and walks off. It's like he wants to be interested in my little things but is unable to force himself. When I tell a joke he doesn't get it unless I overexplain it. I have never been married and I hear that people learn to put up with all sorts of things but it always sounds hellish to me.

So I do love him but I don't love love him, and can't see a future with him, but I don't hate him.

I don't know how to hold opposing opinions about someone without getting upset with them. It's my cross to bear.

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[–] 5ibelius9insterberg@feddit.org 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How enthusiastic is he about stuff he‘s interested in?

How comfortable is he with unannounced and sudden change of plans?

Are there things that are super important to him? Meaning stuff he needs, like clothing, snacks, routines etc. ?

If yes, maybe he’s neurodivergent?

[–] YawningNostalgia@thelemmy.club 2 points 1 month ago

I was a little high when I wrote that but yeah very possible. He is able to talk about his field of study for ages, is chill with changes in plans, and isn't super routine-oriented though. It's just hard for me sometimes to accept that I can't get all of my emotional needs met by my lover. Like I wouldn't be able to gossip with him because he would be civil but uninterested, even if I had scalding hot tea. I just need to pour more into my friends so I don't expect him to be someone who can do banter. I'm not unhappy with him.

Anyway, I made this lil sub so people could talk about literally anything, so feel free to pop by and make a post whenever you want! I didn't see if there was already a casual conversation type of community, please lmk if you know of one:).