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xkcd #3235: Types of Board Game
Title text:
I can't believe Candles of Vienna caved to commercial pressure and added the Goku expansion.
Transcript:
Transcript will show once it’s been added to explainxkcd.com
Source: https://xkcd.com/3235/
xkcd forgot the one where nobody really wants to play bored games and everyone thinks everyone else is kinda interested. There is always exactly one person who wants to play bored games.
I'm going to be honest, Candles of Vienna sounds like a fascinating premise.
Sounds like you'd be interested in Jamestown , maybe even its expansion pack : the racist parts nobody asked for.
"Ignore the groans of the other guests as you insist they play a board game."
Due to ill-advised tie-ins, in MTG you can now pit Dwight Schrute against Bebop & Rocksteady with help from Ian Malcolm and SpongeBob, who has the One Ring. Don’t worry, here comes Godzilla and Hatsune Miku to save the day, just tap your Bob Ross lands to play.
Bob ross lands are awesome though come on.
It’s true. Bob Ross lands and using Frank Frazetta paintings as alternates for cards that already existed is actually the kind of Secret Lair stuff I don’t think negatively affects the game. They’re not shoehorning in IPs that break the game, it’s just good art that fits the feel. I totally have Bob Ross foils. Couldn’t get Frank before it sold out and not willing to pay the scalpers.
in MTG you can now pit Dwight Schrute
I ... they fucking did this with universes beyond/secret lair?
https://secretlair.wizards.com/us/en/product/1247713/secret-lair-x-the-office-dwight-s-destiny
They were pushing it with spiderman. Holeee fuck.
This is about as jarring as Sweet Dee from IASIP technically being a disney princess.
But, this can only lead to hasbro releasing the much awaited crossover with Jerry Springer.
Yeah… yeah. They’ve taken what have might been a niche one-off for collectors here and there and turned it into the driving force of their game. Lord of the Rings was well received as a full set expansion because it’s Lord of the fucking Rings and the Tolkien realm translates well into the established game. But Spiderman? Ninja Turtles? Avatar? The Office? Soon Star Trek? I’m so tired of rushed to market expansions, having to learn all sorts of new rules to justify other IPs doing what they do (and probably breaking the game along the way), and artwork that looks like ass. It’s just not fun anymore.
It’s just not fun anymore.
I've said it before, but the game is pure ass these days.
https://lemmy.world/post/40381588/21086078
Every fucking card is either bullshit removal, or “When you resolve this spell turn a land into a 0/0 creature and put a +1/+1 counter on each land that turned into a creature this turn and draw a card if your land creatures have five enchantments”.
Fuck, right? I’m glad I found some folks to play old formats with. I don’t even mind a friendly game of commander if we’re building around a theme central to the lore, like zombies or guilds. But even then, the burnout on the UB garbage is real. My buddy has a sick spider themed commander that would probably go harder if he added some of the Spiderman stuff. But he won’t, because it’s stupid and kills the vibe of fantasy realm spiders and “magic”.
But even then, the burnout on the UB garbage is real.
Amen.
the worst thing is i can't tell if this is a joke or not
It isn't a joke. They didn't even bring up real life people that are in cards, or SpongeBob, mylitttle pony, Fortnite, or furby.
I still can't tell if this is a joke or not...
i haven't played MtG in 30 years. we had zombies. i wasn't expecting the mattel and mars bar chocobot hour.
Hasbro relies on MTG to make them profitable, so there's been a lot of selling out.
Even if you ignore the Universes beyond, the price of packs is way too high now, and they've made some blatant cash grabs.
"30th anniversary" was a secial set with a different back, making them basically the same as the old gold-boarded decks, not tournament legal. This results in them being considered proxies, but made by WoTC.... For $1000 for 4 boosters.
There’s still zombies, but now you can fight them with the cast of the Walking Dead! Also, if you left 30yrs ago you’d be sorely disappointed to see how shit the art has gotten. So much AI or “AI enhanced” slop.
There was something about mtg that just smelled wrong so I stopped playing it. It was the real life gambling aimed at elementary schoolers/middle schoolers but it's totally not gambling if it's card packs thing, then you put a veneer of a game on the other side of it. Don't get me started on the game.
Overcomplicated is when you have a thick book for rules and spend an hour just to sort and setup all the different tokens, figures, cards, dice, etc.
I remember one time being over a friend's house, he had some board game they just dug out of the back of a closet somewhere and we were thinking about playing it. Can't remember which game it was, I want to say it may have been Diplomacy, but I'm not 100% on that.
We open it up, looked like all the pieces were there, and we started reading through what we thought was the rulebook, it was a fairly beefy book.
Then we realized that what we had wasn't in fact the rulebook, but some sort of secondary book that referenced the full rulebook, which it called "intimidating"
On reading that, we decided that this game was just too much trouble for how much effort we were willing to put in that day.
Sounds like Axis and Allies.
Nah axos and allies is basically risk with a few extra rules. It was probably some sort of daunting hex wargame thingy.
just one thick book for rules? laughs in frosthaven
Implied by "Cones of Dunshire"
The problem with Goku tie-ins and expansions is that the game's balance depends on Goku not being available.
Goku is the mechanism that prevents the game from going on endlessly. As each player feels like they want to do something else, they reveal a dragon ball on the board (if there are less than 7 players, the game starts with however many dragon balls are required to make the total 7). If a player is eliminated, the player that knocks them out gets their dragon ball.
Once all 7 dragon balls are revealed (or owned by you), you can declare that you're searching for them, after which you roll a search check each turn and if you get the dragon ball symbol, then roll the 7-sided die to determine which one you found. If you roll one you already have, it goes missing (another player can hide it on the map). If you roll the dragon ball finder, you get an extra roll each turn (which can be given up to avoid losing a dragon ball).
Once you have collected all 7 dragon balls, you must summon Porunga (yes, we managed to grab Namek's dragon before Frieza turned it all to lava), turn out the lights and wish for Goku to be revived or summoned there. At this point, Goku will challenge whoever the strongest fighter is. He is not strong enough to defeat any players in his normal form, so you'll need to tell him to not hold back and then defeat him (because he'll agree but hold back anyways). Once Goku goes SSJ, he will eliminate one player per turn, starting from the strongest, but after eliminating one player you'll need to feed him before he feels like fighting the next one. This brings us to the farming mechanics... (continues on for 16 pages)
Don't worry, I'm sure the upcoming superman second expansion will fix it all up.
So I actually make board games, and I got really excited to see which category my games fit in, but there are definitely large gaps in the coverage of this list.
At least, I hope my games don’t fall under “overcomplicated” or “boring”…
i have been playing an overcomplicated game once a month with my besties/chosen family for the last... i don't know. a while. and we love it.
we did have to buy inserts for the box (frosthaven) to speed up the setup from two hours to like half an hour because So Many Damn Cards but like, we love the game. I think we're maybe a quarter through and we hope to finish it this decade.
Overcomplicated for some can be the right mix for others, there are lots of niche games that take longer to explain than to play and are at the top of BGG.
Make board games and you will live forever*.
*As long as your boardgames exist.
Edit: This was supposed to be read as an inspirational post. If you read it otherwise, go back to the beginning and reread it, don't collect 200 dollars.
Here's an open ended game I invented.
Two teams or individuals can play. First up picks two movie stars who never worked together. Say Helen Mirren and Bruce Lee. Second player has to come up with a plot for the two. Because Helen made movies from 18 until today she can play any age, but Bruce can only be as old as he was in his last movie.
Needs cones.
Y'all make me think I should get my eyes checked sooner.
If you read on an iphone 5 then no, otherwise yes
I wonder if the guy in the hat is Walter White