Ask Lemmy

Famously, you couldn't make Blazing Saddles today because they already made that move in the 70s

Down Periscope. It is the best and most accurate submarine movie in existence.

Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal. No way would a studio agree to do that much hand-crafted work. They'd just have the stars reacting to a bunch of tennis balls and "fix it in post."

No Way Out (1950). Depicts a race riot. At one point a character uses the N word dozens of times in a row uninterrupted. Much of Sidney Poitier's career would be hard to remake these days. Pressure Point (1962) where he's a therapist trying to deprogram a Nazi. Maybe that's exactly what the world needs a remake of right now, but we're not gonna get it.

Basic Instinct (1992), Body Heat (1981), that sort of thing. They might remake it into a TV show, but they're not putting that much sex in theaters.

Charlie Chan. A series of detective films about a Chinese detective who was always played by a white guy. Though you could make this movie in 2026, you wouldn't cast a white person.

Countless movies where the subject matter is painfully out of date. They used to make anti-alcohol pictures when prohibition was a thing. Couldn't vs. wouldn't, I guess.

Look up all the stunts Buster Keaton did, and shiver. Or The Little Rascals or Hal Roach’s Rascals, whatever they were called.

Or the 1968 version of Romeo and Juliet - while probably one of the best versions ever, nobody today would dare to think doing a movie like that today - it would be criminal.

Scream.

The killer would try to call the girl in the first scene and she would just be like "Ew, who actually calls on the phone?" and hit cancel. Roll credits.

Alternatively the scariest movie the girl ever saw would be Five Nights at Freddie's.

ITT

Jurassic Park, Terminator 2, TMNT ‘89, Lord of the Rings.

Whatever the JP franchise is now, it will never go back to full scale animatronics, and without Stan Winston’s magic, it’ll never be quite what the first (and a bit of the second) were.

Cameron himself can’t recreate the magic of T2 even if his films make billions. He never risks having to “nail this in one shot” stunts.

As for TMNT. Nobody gives a shit they’re suits, we could suspend our disbelief and watched mindblowing performances by great stuntmen in some of the most advanced animatronics ever. Michael Bay can’t even fathom how much better that is.

The Hobbit was plagued by a lot of problems, but I don’t know if even Jackson could pull off the practical effects with digital overlay magic that was the first trilogy if he tried.

That era of Hollywood, practical first, digital to enhance (sparingly) is gone it seems. It’s sad Hollywood has forgotten that that boundary pushing era was what made those films iconic. Rexy had weight, she literally tore a car apart. You can see the chaos of the semi landing in the canal. The turtles hit. The Riders of Théoden truly rode for ruin. Tell me you don’t get giddy when you know that scene is about to hit.

not a film, but a show. Little Britain. God, they got away with soooo much.

Birth of a Nation.

Although Tarantino would probably try, so long as he could star in it alongside Samuel L Jackson, and call Samuel L Jackson the n-word 'for the cinematographic art of it, really, it's crucial to the film'. Because, aside from feet, that's his fetish.

EVERYthing made by https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buster_Keaton

We've got laws, now, against the insane shit they did on-set, back then..

Lives were too-cheap, back then..

_ /\ _

Blazing Saddles.

Probably the Blue Brothers, but for different reasons. I feel like most of the blues legends are gone.

Song of the South

Silent films using tens of thousands of performers and large-scale stage sets will probably never be made again.

This is because modern audiences take sound in films for granted, making it impossible to expect box office returns that match such an investment.