Depends. Are you sexy and depressed?
this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2026
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There's always a catch.
Become a musician.
A few examples off the top of my head:
- Nine Inch Nails - Pretty Hate Machine
- Velvet Acid Christ - Twisted Thought Generator
- Depeche Mode - Violator
- Stabbing Westward - Whither Blister Burn and Peel
(why yes I'm of a certain age, why do you ask?)
Linkin Park - Pretty much every song
Aleve or Advil for the back?
Hah! No back issues, thankfully. Knees and neck on the other hand... Advil for joint and sinus inflammation, Aleve for muscle aches and cramps.
Back and knees here, Aleve twice a day, Advil for flare ups. I'm pulling for ya, we're all in this together.
My niece is majoring in art in college. I never thought I would become one of those old people, but I'm like damn girl, for $70K a year you should maybe be studying something practical. And this is coming from someone whose goal in life in college was to become a comic book artist.
Musician here. What is this sell? Aside from the church gig (which I do for free because they have a neat musical instrument they let me play. I can't afford one of my own and I used to teach it. I try not to brag but I am legitimately one of the top 50 players in the world, maybe 25. If I could get my hands on my own instrument I could potentially be the best but it costs like 50-100kUSD. I get two hours a week playtime and that's worth playing for them for free to me. In high school I had access to one every day and practiced two hours a day and that's how I gat gud) which I occasionally get taken out to dinner for, I busk. Just me, my friend's sax he's lending to me, a speaker with a lofi background track, and an open case. Depending on the day I can earn some very nice compliments or a cup of coffee!
Comedy is often a banger for depressed people.
Can I charge y'all admission to see my comments? Cuz I can't do this shit on stage. That's scurry 🥺
Nah sorry, you can't make money by commenting on Lemmy. But if you do that a lot, you should use NordVpn. You can get your first month for free if you use code "abbadon420".
Just don't start doing crowd work. That shit requires a crowd.
Definitely true, depressed people are always the funniest ones I know. It's tragic in it's own way lol
Create a hit one person TV show/movie. Bonus if you're millennial and messy.
E.g. Bo Burnham if you're messy millennial man, Fleabag if you're messy millennial woman, and Mae Martin if you're messy millennial non-biney.
Honestly completely accurate lol
Research studies is how you sell it 😂
It's called vtubing sweetheart, look it up.
Oh man hahaha
Write a book/movie/song about your depression, sell the rights, ~~make the megacorp~~ profit
Ooh, I've got existential depression. Is that worth anything?
Does your depression allow you to sit at a computer accomplishing nothing for a couple of hours a day? I could use a second developer for a little godot project I've got going on. Funding is limited until crowdfunding starts.
Export it to the political campaign season
It could be argued that all industries sell depression, as selling or even freely offering anything implies that you want it, which would imply that you are currently suffering from a lack of it. The pursuit of anything could be viewed as a symptom of trying to fill an unfillable void in oneself. The only thing, in this view, that DOESN'T constitute selling depression, are things that negate the will directly.
This post was brought to you by Schopenhauer Gang
I always figured that if I met someone who's upfront about being an energy vampire, I could just be like
"Oh great, I have so much paranoid anxiety in here I can barely sleep. So how much emotional energy and validation exactly do you typically require on a daily basis? Enough to cut into my time and effort spent pacing the floor and ruminating on the state of the world would be ideal."
How to sell compulsive gooning and shame
But you aren't though. If you can't get out of it you are bad at depression.
The only ones good at depression are the ones who don't have it. And they sell self-help books by the boat load.
Have you seen Vastaamo case in Finland? That's how you sell depression. Multiple times even if you happen to be a hacker.
I can give you guitar lessons. Can't promise you'll pay the bills, but if you play your cards right you'll bum a lotta people out