5 and the seat beside it would both be free sure to Kevin Smith being kicked off the plane (at least if the fight was United)
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/aubreygordon/flying-while-fat
this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2026
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I'm sitting next to house because if I don't bother him he'll probably pop a couple vicoden and take a shot and sleep
3 is probably the worst seat. Sitting in front of muscleman would be THE WORST
You'd think so, but all you'd have to do is tell them where Ozzy is sitting and they'd go pester him instead.
I'll stand, thank you.
fuck it, 7, at least by the end i'll know i have no illness mysterious enough to warrant his attention
Obviously next to House. He wants his seat neighbors to stfu and let him sleep. I want the same. It's perfect.
Here comes Charlie giving some really long monotone verbose speech about airplane food and how it sucks
Five minutes into the flight, he's going to have this really nervous, embraced look on his face. Ten minutes in, he's going to be fidgeting and kinda trying to catch your attention. Fifteen minutes in, he's going to give you the most exasperated sigh and announce "It's lupus. You've got lupus. You need to begin treatment as soon as we land."
I'm unclear whether that's supposed to be a deterrent from sitting there.
The issue is that they didn’t have lupus before sitting next to House. The universe just couldn’t let House go 15 minutes without a diagnosis.
"He'll diagnose you with something!"
Healthy people: oh fuck!
Chronically ill people: fuck yes!
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7, but only so I can regale House with the saga that was my lupus diagnosis.
This is the one true answer
9 Easy, you get to sit next to Lemmy.
Who would win in a wrestling match, Lemmy or God?
Trick question, Lemmy is God!
Love Airheads.
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1 if ozzy is alive.
2 is ok, brewstew might have some stories worth hearing.
3 might go well, would probably go very wrong.
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I don't know what Ferris did to have to sit next to durst.
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Hell yes, just to talk shop with Smith and Mewes.
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Haven't watched Pretty Derby, prob not for me
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House and GTA, hell yes
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Don't watch Cr1tiKal, and I think ash would be annoying, but petting his pokemon might be fun
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If lemmy was alive, maybe, don't know anything about bbno$
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Don't watch konosuba
The presence of Kazuma and Aqua guarantee that there will be no peace on this flight no matter where one is seated.
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Jay would be turned around in his seat macking on the waifus.
'So, are you, like, 18 in horse years, or what?'
100% this plane's crashing.
7, for sure. House doesn't want to talk, I don't want to talk, we're cool.
5 if you want interesting.
7 if you want an angry doctor to insult you and ignore you for the remainder of the flight while he sleeps after a couple vicodin. No idea who the other guy is, but it could get interesting if he has to take a piss.
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4 4 4 4 4 4 4 please oh god 4 4 4 please. Best cat boi. 9 is also fine because bbno$ is really chill.
Mraow~! 4 fr :3
1 easy choice. Those two have stories for days. Normally I don't want to be bothered but that would be interesting enough to be fun.
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- Don't tell me, I don't want to know.
someone do tell him, I want to know
The pink-haired one is kind albeït a bit slow. The white-haired one is probably smuggling contraband and is not afraid to trample you in an emergency. Beating up Beavis for snickering at their horse ears constitutes an emergency.
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Those boys in row three remind me of those guys I caught whackin' it in my tool shed... but what are the odds?
Easy 7
4 seems chill, unless whoever the window seat is changes that. There's also a morbid curiosity to the result of sitting in 6, it might just be entertaining enough to be worth it.
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1 or 5, others look exhausting tbh
Ill take the train.
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