this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2026
660 points (99.0% liked)

Not The Onion

20915 readers
577 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Disappointingly his lawyer wasn't Harvey Birdman

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This whole kerfuffle really irks me. The police did something wrong. They got called out on it. Then they sued. It's vindictive and horrible. And you fucking KNOW that if he sued them instead of making the song it very likely wouldn't have gone anywhere and they'd get to wave their qualified immunity all over. But that wasn't enough for them. They just couldn't stand someone besmirching their perfect name.

The sheer irony of this whole thing is that I had forgotten. I imagine many of you did too if you even saw those videos he made after it happened a few months back. They totally Streisand effected (Streisand affected? lol) themselves. Absolutely disgusting to see them sue him over this. Very glad he won.

[–] Hozerkiller@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Somone pleas correct me if im wrong, but he had a counter suit and everything got thrown out almost immediately because the judge was essentially gobbing the cops knobs.

[–] InputZero@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Gobbing the cops knobs, cops have qualified immunity, what's the difference.

[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 204 points 3 days ago (2 children)

The best part about this is that his songs pissed off the cops so much that they couldn't just be satisfied with stealing his shit; they had to take him to court about how much he hurt their feelings!

They look ten times more ridiculous than if they had just let it go.

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 128 points 3 days ago

They likely sued because he has them on video directly stealing cash out of one of his jackets. Thry were hoping he'd shut up.

[–] breezeblock@lemmy.ca 50 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Randy Walters is a son of a bitch

[–] SpiceDealer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 3 days ago

♫That's why I fucked his wife and got filthy rich!♫

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ugandan_airways@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This whole case is going to make a great documentary one day. I just hope Netflix doesn’t make it (for obvious reasons)

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 2 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] Glytch@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Netflix doesn't make content that's meant to be watched anymore. It's meant to be played in the background while you doomscroll. I'd rather watch something that wants to be watched.

[–] ugandan_airways@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Everything Netflix makes feels like slop now. Once upon a time NF was a marker of quality, but now they make every documentary 3 or 4 parts for no reason—dragging out storylines until they are boring—and they all look the same visually. There isn’t anything that makes them unique. They feel paint by numbers.

This is extra disappointing with a filmmaker like Chris Smith who has made some all time classic films (American Movie, American Job), but his Netflix stuff now looks like anyone in the Netflix stable could have directed them.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] kikutwo@lemmy.world 133 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Afroman for US President. He's just as qualified as the current one

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 130 points 3 days ago (8 children)

Even more qualified. Being a decent human being makes You more qualified. Being able to put together a coherent sentence makes You more qualified. It is, in fact, difficult to imagine someone less qualified to be president, than Trump.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] UnspecificGravity@piefed.social 63 points 3 days ago (6 children)

Worth pointing out that Afroman is a dedicated Trumper and likened the raid on his home to the FBI raid on Maralago during the documents case.

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

Oof. This really shifts my perception of him.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] spaghettiwestern@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Watched his testimony. Aftoman is intelligent, thoughtful, and well-spoken - way more qualified than the Rapist-in-Chief.

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 23 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I wouldn't be opposed to him running as a Republican...

https://allhiphop.com/news/afroman-addresses-patriotic-photo-opp-with-donald-trump/

But he sure as shit shouldn't be allowed to take a spot in any election from an actual Dem.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made president should on no account be allowed to do the job.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ProfessorScience@lemmy.world 79 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ridiculous that they're the ones suing him.

[–] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 68 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well he did counter sue but the judge (corrupt) tossed his counter.

[–] beejboytyson@lemmy.world 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I was wondering why he didn't counter...

[–] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 57 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I did not follow this that closely but the small part I did see had the judge do things like try to tell the jury that the ex wife of the deputy was not an expert witness in her own marriage and that the jury needed to treat her testimony as from a layperson unlike an expert witness like a deputy. Not really a surprise that the judge who let this play out and covered for the police continuously also tossed out the counter claim for property damage and theft.

[–] beejboytyson@lemmy.world 23 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Big oof this is why ppl don't trust the experts

[–] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 30 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Yeah, and I think the judge actually did more harm to the cops in this case. Most people on that jury would likely be rolling their eyes at that point. Also the cops calling afroman to the stand blew up in their faces hard, just take a watch if your so inclined:

https://youtu.be/rE8mtNCsihE?t=19

Like the guy or not that was a great shut down of the entire premise of the suit against him.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 57 points 3 days ago (7 children)

I just don’t understand how anybody could see what happened to this man and not understand just how deeply corrupt the police and judges in this case are. Every single one of them belongs in prison, or more accurately underground.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I know the case wasn't actually about this but I can't understand why when executing a search warrant looking for kidnap victims you would proceed to ransacked the kitchen. Stick your head in there, is there anyone tied up in there, nope. So then you leave, I doubt someone's been held captive in the cutlery drawer.

[–] sthetic@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago

I only watched one of his videos, but there was a whole verse about that.

"Any kidnapping victims inside my suit pockets?" he sings, over footage of cops rummaging through the jackets hanging in his closet.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ugandan_airways@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 days ago

And this goes for all cops everywhere. ACAB

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] spaghettiwestern@sh.itjust.works 50 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Watched Aftoman's testimony. It's beggars belief that the police's attorney repeatedly demands sympathy from both Afroman and the jury for the poor, victimized police officer's hurt feelings and embarrassment after her actions were made public.

Afroman puts it well when the attorney is trying to get that sympathy, “But I'm not a person. She is. I'm sorry for being a victim. Let's talk about the predators [instead].”

[–] Beetschnapps@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago

Afro man def put up a badass response to that questioning…

But it’s with also mentioning the prosecutor is fucking terrible at his job.

Afroman did a great job in the stand, but the prosecutor was straight up LAME in their questioning.

The lawyer rolled over at the end of questioning, that’s rare…

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 54 points 3 days ago

I have been trying to figure out where to post the local news clip of him winning.
It really was sweet to see how the community actually really came out in support of him and they were handing out lemon pound cake at the courthouse.

[–] BigTrout75@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago (2 children)

That picture! He needs to be in a 90s Capcom fighting game.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 2 points 2 days ago

Tiger Jackson

Namco, not Capcom

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] woelkchen@lemmy.world 57 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 26 points 3 days ago

I really hope to have the outlook afroman currently has about this type of situation. Where a massive miscarriage of justice was perpetrated and he makes fun songs about it. I mean the gucking lemon pound cake was just the god damned cherry on top of the acab massive library of shittiness.

[–] redsand@infosec.pub 18 points 3 days ago

He made dis tracks for them all. Randy's is relatively tame

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago
[–] LiveLM@lemmy.zip 36 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ThanksObama@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago
[–] RymrgandsDaughter@lemmy.world 39 points 3 days ago

those songs were hilarious, that lick'em low lisa is like 15 mins and they had to listen to it in court lmao 💀

[–] middlemanSI@lemmy.world 37 points 3 days ago

That raid was crazy stupid. Like, even for US police standards. Also, kidnapping haha

[–] TwilitSky@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (3 children)

If this man isn't the next President of the United States, I'm leaving.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 17 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Everyone knows this is Under the Boardwalk right?

Or am I that old?

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

No, it's LEMON POUND CAKE BY AFROMAN GRANDPA! Let's get you off to bed

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I was not going to steal that poundcake,
but I was high.
And then I really scarfed down that poundcake,
because I was high

And now I'm stuck in court and I know why... yeah why...

load more comments
view more: next ›