Just continue to be yourself and do things you like eventually you will find your "tribe"

In places and with people you are familiar, you shouldn't change what you're doing because they like you for who you are.

In other conversational situations where you're not familiar and you don't know how to engage without being thought selfish or something like that, try the L.E.A.P. method. I find it especially useful for political arguments.

Listen. Empathize. Agree. Partner.

https://spotlightonmentalhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/The-LEAP-overview.pdf

Even if you have your own idea in your head you want to say out loud, first listen to the other person, and empathize with their feelings. I know it's difficult with your auditory processing challenges you have, but you can practice by taking a response a little slower and with a little more time. When people feel they are heard, they are more willing to listen to your feelings. Then Agree is for controversial topics or disagreements you have. It means to find the part where your thought or opinion aligns with theirs, no matter how small. Then Partner is either how you set a workable position between you and the other person, or this is where you can talk about your thought or opinion and how it relates to the main conversation topic.

For Example, Someone says: "My brother got bitten by a dog the other day."

You are thinking: "I was chased by a dog when I was little, that was scary." But before you go directly to saying that, preface it with...

Listen & Empathize: "I'm sorry to hear that, I hope he is doing okay." After that you can talk about your relevant experience.

Polycule? Also I would put way more weight on the words of a trained therapist than I would people who only seek to hurt you.

Are you autistic? It can make it difficult to fit in if you're not registering social archetypes or performing them in ways that help people "get" you in a glance. Sucks but generally people tend to decide how they feel about a person within 30 seconds of meeting them, usually shorter.

Also, the only thing I've learned about Nordic culture is it can be kind of easy to be seen as self centered. Like apparently you generally don't bring up money or finances casually because it implies things. You know, just little rules that must be easy to trip over. But being an attention-seeker there seems like one of the more transgressive kinds of ways to be perceived. You might be signaling something on accident.