I just looove how nobody even considers the ice creams feelings in all of this. Once again the inanimate objects get no autonomy or validation.
Sick of it.
this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2026
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Tell that to Mrs. Eiffel, the woman who married the Eiffel Tower and had (has?) a relationship with her bow, Lance, which she attributes to her becoming a world class archer.
I was gonna make a joke, but then I read the article and
After serving enlisted in the United States Air Force, Eiffel entered the U.S. Air Force Academy in 1993. In her first year, she was sexually assaulted by another cadet, but thwarted the attack with a training sword. She was subsequently dismissed from the Academy with a personality disorder: "I really felt that the only way for me to sleep is if I was holding onto something, like my sword, because that was the one thing that protected me. And it just got worse," she said.
kinda takes the fun out of it
Best one yet
That's pretty racist of Patrick tbh. Why do you only want to marry someone of your own species? Why not some nice person outside your species like Sandy or Squidward or Mrs Puff? Are you a starfish supremacist?
I think you mean speciesist.
Racism would imply Patrick hates specific flavours of icecream.
Personally, I don't "hate" any specific flavours of ice cream, but I do have my favourites, and I really don't want them mixing because I'm afraid of chocolate and rainbow.
Strawberry can fuck off back to where it came from.