this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 125 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 29 points 4 days ago

There's always someone in the family who will name a better kid and keep comparing you, the inferior to all child.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 3 points 4 days ago

Commitment. Patience. Psychokinetic ability.

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 55 points 4 days ago (4 children)

You'll never be a billionaire if you keep foolishly indulging in the luxury of eating and drinking. You'll also wasting time eating and expelling waste, you could have two or three other micro hustles to get ahead, you're only two or three centuries away from success!

[–] udc@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

Bottom feeders eating their 🥑 toast need to learn pull themselves by the 🥾 strap! /s

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[–] dan69@lemmy.world 56 points 4 days ago

Probably used klarna

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 38 points 4 days ago (8 children)

IDK why they have a personal pizza size. Technically, any size pizza I order for myself is a personal pizza.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)

In my late 20's i'd order 2 stuffed-crust pep lovers and two large ceasar salads every friday night, then go raiding in warcraft. I lived alone.

Sometimes I'd eat half a pizza on friday, and one of the salads, sometimes a whole.

[–] Cosmonauticus@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

This just sounds like a good ass time and I miss being able to do this. Just replace WOW with Persona 5 and the pizza with a 6 pack and a bacon cheese burger from Parkway Deli

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[–] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Are you my brother from another mother?

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago

Could be, could also just be humans of distinguished taste :)

[–] SSUPII@sopuli.xyz 3 points 4 days ago

Hell yeah! Same!

[–] sness@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago

Any pizza is a personal size pizza, if you try hard and believe in yourself. Any pizza is a family size pizza, if you're an orphan.

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[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

How does that relate to Brians Cock? Did he play a character like that?

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

I didn't watch Succession past an episode or two, but probably there.

Unrelated, his pocket square looks like a horse head.

[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 30 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I carry my own ketchup bottle.

Condimitment

[–] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] dan69@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Do you have mini Tabasco sauce to open that large Tabasco sauce?

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

Goddamnit if that isn't one of the best throwaway gags in the history of television.

[–] AffineConnection@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That reminds me of how people used to carry around their own spoons everywhere.

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[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago

Any pizza is a personal pizza if you’re not afraid to live life.

[–] lath@lemmy.world 20 points 4 days ago (1 children)

How many monthly payments though?

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)
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[–] humanamerican@lemmy.zip 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)

a personal pizza

My fellow American

[–] SSUPII@sopuli.xyz 7 points 4 days ago (2 children)

So strange yall have a name for a normal pizza

[–] humanamerican@lemmy.zip 6 points 4 days ago

What makes it a personal pizza is that it is eaten by a single person in a single sitting.

The one pictured is an American sized personal pizza.

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[–] LynxIsInvicible@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)
  • I'm something years old
  • Didn't buy myself a pizza.
  • Not "parents."
  • Not "get lucky"
  • I set a goal and have yet to achieve it.
  • Some discipline, too much awareness, bad priorities
[–] kamen@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

Given that they now give out loans for people to buy pizza, that's a solid achievement.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago (2 children)

This is weirdly wholesome.

Start small. Get yourself a pizza, and work up from there.

[–] BigDiction@lemmy.world 22 points 4 days ago (2 children)

It’s a good perspective. People get daunted by big goals like home ownership that are really just 20-60 thousand personal pizzas.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

No house on Earth is worth giving up that many pizzas.

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[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

Use those calories to mow lawns. Register an LLC. Hire a fleet. Buy them pizzas. Growth mindset.

[–] roux2scour@lemy.lol 8 points 4 days ago

Average linkedin user

[–] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 10 points 4 days ago (2 children)

All my dads told me about how I was conceived in a bowl of iced piss from a woman they only knew as "sugar cunt". I guess she was diabetic and liked to donate eggs in the most peculiar way.

So now whenever I ask who my mom is they just tell me she's a cummy bear.

[–] HumanOnEarth@lemmy.ca 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)

What the absolute forking fuck is this

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[–] irmoz@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

Mummy, there's a weird person on the internet

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I mean, setting realistic, achievable goals is a very good strategy and mindset.

Gotta build what you want, step by step.

... and also that looks like a pretty darn good pizza.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 7 points 4 days ago

It's important to set achievable goals.

His kids are going to resent him when he brags about this in 30 years, and roll their eyes when he suggests maybe they just need to learn to be more responsible about rationing their Soylent Green.

[–] you_are_dust@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

Set achievable goals. This is inspirational.

[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I don't think that's a personal pizza, that looks like a medium. Although "personal" is subjective, any pizza can be personal, I suppose.

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[–] Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

"Hey Guy! 😢 Why can't I make friends? I bought zza🍕" psalms 32:39

[–] Mika@piefed.ca 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

30 years from now young people would find this meme and will complain that you could afford the real deal, and not just a taste simulation.

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[–] zebidiah@lemmy.ca 4 points 4 days ago

#builtdifferent #dailygrind

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