this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2026
87 points (92.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

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2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

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9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
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Anyone want to bring me up to speed?? πŸ€”

top 27 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Asafum@lemmy.world 79 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"I fixed the economy. You're all rich now."

"Iran is going to kill us all if you don't let me glass the whole area for ~~Isreal~~ our safety."

"The left are all terrorists who hate Americans and America."

"Everybody loves me so much they call me crying about how much we win. It's too much winning for them."

[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago

Thanks for the update, g.

[–] Lioffproxy@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

That's actually not bad. Lol

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 76 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Congressman Al Green got kicked out cause he held a sign that said β€œblack people aren’t apes.”

The rest of the event can be extrapolated from that.

[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago

Goddamn.😐

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 46 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I drove my ex to get cigarettes last night. Still trying to convince her that we can still hook up occasionally and I don’t even mind that she’s a lesbian now, and in fact is kinda hot really.

You think she’d be more receptive to the idea if I told her she could bring one of her lesbian friends?

[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)

100% for sure. You should ask her to let you stick it in her butt after you make the arrangements.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fair. She’s stuck it in mine enough times.

[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Niiiiiice.

( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β° )

Let me know how it goes brah!!

[–] gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 week ago

For sure dude! Go for it yooo

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 35 points 1 week ago

You saw plenty of asshole doing what you did instead. I think you're caught up without even realizing.

[–] nocklobster@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

That's my favorite vignette from the entire series, lol. I wish I could give you like 6 upvotez.

[–] bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

It's from Family Guy.

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

75 minutes of the sloppiest blowjob ever, I'm not sure how Putin put up with it.

At least, that's what I'm presuming, i didn't watch.

[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Was there a lot of teeth action?

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

No, but dry mouthed 80 year old sandpaper tongue was featured prominently on the menu

[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago

Now there's a sentence I wish I could un-read.

[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Was there any exposed cliteratii? Or fine bitches with fat asses? Or fat bitches with fine asses?

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 3 points 1 week ago

No. Just children

[–] mech@feddit.org 17 points 1 week ago

Nah, you basically got the same experience.

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago

Your experience was likely less miserable.

[–] Redstone1@lemmings.world 4 points 1 week ago

Well. Thats a sentence. πŸ˜†