this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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[–] ButWhatDoesItAllMean@sh.itjust.works 77 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

And here I am wiping my phone screen to get rid of this random hair

[–] annoyed_onion@lemmy.world 36 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Me too, but my body hair doesn't look like that.

[–] idegenszavak@sh.itjust.works 24 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I tried to lick it off as I always do with long hairs on my phone, and now my phone is dipping in my saliva. Thank you OP for making me destroy my phone AGAIn!

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

You are a fucking monster.

[–] PhoenixDog@piefed.ca 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

With all due respect... What is wrong with you?

[–] idegenszavak@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

How else can you clean your mobilek? My tongue is always very close to the screen, I just have to elongate a bit

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[–] TommySoda@lemmy.world 49 points 3 weeks ago
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 41 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Could be worse. At least it's not Ajit Pai.

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

So true brother

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Just like my mom's!

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 26 points 3 weeks ago
[–] Underwaterbob@sh.itjust.works 23 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

Looking at this stuff on desktop as always really makes me realize just how many people access the Internet primarily through mobile now. It's a weird, and somewhat disturbing thought. You'll pry my desktops out of my cold, dead hands.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I do mostly access social media through the phone tbh. I still own more computers than phones though. I just use them for other things than social media. Social media is something I visit when I've got some downtime which I wanna waste on being emotionally manipulated by giant corporations.

Lemmy/Piefed is obviously an exception. I use that when I wanna shitpost.

[–] Underwaterbob@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm the opposite. I avoid social media on my phone by reading books or playing Simon Tatham's puzzles. I get enough on desktop. Probably too much. Pimp's gotta pimp.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That is just as relevant of a way of doing so! It's just that when I sit down at the computer I usually want to spend that time doing something else!

[–] Underwaterbob@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

I'm not always so successful I realize as I read this post on my phone waiting for my take out.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Only lemmy, myself too a desktopiac. For toilet reading and stuff.

[–] Underwaterbob@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 weeks ago

Toilet time is puzzle time!

[–] Zetta@mander.xyz 3 points 3 weeks ago

I do a significant amount of computing on my desktop, but yeah, social media, and by that I mean only Lemmy. I really only use on my phone when I'm away from my computer.

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 3 weeks ago

Even though it's a hair on an image, it still makes me retch slightly at the thought of the hair actually being on the delicious pie.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

sent to my wife. she immediately tried to blow the hair off.

I almost pissed myself laughing.

thanks!

[–] somerandomperson@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Thanks. Got a bit hairy there for a while

[–] shuva_meta@lemmy.today 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] tidderuuf@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You get used to that shit at buffets.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Not if you never go to a buffet. I thought the pandemic taught people that they are absolute cesspools.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 7 points 3 weeks ago
[–] ulo@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 3 weeks ago

I had a budgie but it died.

[–] Atlas_@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

Y u put hair in your meme?

[–] BoosBeau@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

My kinda content

[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 weeks ago
[–] Strider@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

You evil being ♥️

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

So take the hair off and eat the damn pie

[–] lemmy_at_em@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago
[–] probablymissing@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

that's very clever, i hate it, have a mildy angry upvote

[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

It isn't pubic hair so I'm not gonna let it stop me. Its PIE!.

[–] omega_x3@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

It's pie so even if it is a pubic hair, I mean how many germs could it have transferred, and there's no way it touched the whole thing I'm sure I'll be fine just eating this corner....wait is that pumpkin pie? I'm pretty sure pumpkin pie is antibacterial and antiviral...

I mean, whose pubic hair is it?

[–] DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth 3 points 3 weeks ago

You bastard...

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

They said would you like some pie. I said yes I would.

I forgot they majored in math. I would undo it if I could.

They said 3.1415926535897932384626433

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

I just realised, this "joke" (fact for me to show off) doesn't work on the internet. I DID memorise that in highschool. No copy and paste

[–] 2hundredpancakes@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I feel like I recognize what kind of pie this is but can't remember... butter pecan?... butter... something...

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[–] Honytawk@feddit.nl 2 points 3 weeks ago

Your pie needs shaving

[–] Bruncvik@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago
[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 weeks ago

YES, POLICE! TAKE THEM STRAIGHT TO JAIL

[–] Aneb@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

The pie I get handed at holiday parties

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago
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