this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
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Comic Strips

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[–] tourist@lemmy.world 82 points 2 years ago (4 children)

why jesus cakes hanging out

Also my money on the four armed elephant dude with an axe

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 48 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Dude forgot to gird. Rookie mistake.

[–] Buffalox@lemmy.world 32 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Yes it looks like an iron axe, and God has a problem with Iron:
https://biblehub.com/judges/1-19.htm

Judges 1:19

The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had chariots fitted with iron.

So the idea that God is almighty is pretty ridiculous, according to the Bible that is.

[–] tourist@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I never actually read much of the thing

I just assert that the burning bush was absolutely cannabis sativa, despite any solid evidence to the contrary. I don't care that it's not native to the region or whatever.

Anyways, why the fuck was he driving people out of the plains? Homies were just chilling in their iron chariots.

[–] Fermion@feddit.nl 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I can't claim to have much experience in the matter, but I don't think people who just chill generally have chariots fitted with iron. Like if your neighbor happened to have a tank and a bunker, would you say they're just chilling?

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[–] Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 years ago

Anyways, why the fuck was he driving people out of the plains? Homies were just chilling in their iron chariots.

For the same reason as now - because Israel wanted their land.

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

If we consider the Sistine Chapel's depiction of the realm of heaven to be divine inspiration, the clothes were added later after some complaints.

The whole concept of original sin is such that pure beings such as Adam and Eve did not even realize that they were naked until they ate the fruit of carnal knowledge.

Therefor it is canon that God likes to hang out with his wang out. Freeballin.

[–] pinkystew@reddthat.com 4 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Also Jesus was a bottom

Do you think he was topping 12 dudes a night? They started a religion after him because he was nice not because he was a multiple cummer

So it totally makes sense for him to be flying cakes in a fight with a Hindu god

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm not sure what your religion is but I regret to inform you that you're not going to the good place.

[–] AlolanYoda@mander.xyz 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Based on having had to read that comment I would say we're already in the bad place

[–] pinkystew@reddthat.com 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I'm a slut for cum fill me Judas

~Jesus Christ, probably

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Consider that the first time he broke out the superpowers was when a wedding didn't have booze. So he turned WATER INTO WINE. Just don't rule out him topping 12 dudes a night is all I'm saying. He brought the party.

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[–] lowleveldata@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

No pants for serious mode

[–] xenoclast@lemmy.world 38 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

When they're both Christians, Jesus just picks his favorite. If you lose you know that you're not jesus's favorite. Sorry that's just the way it is. Loser.

[–] ThePantser@lemmy.world 36 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

Also relevant, two people of the same religion praying for the same thing. The god fights themselves. Or flips a coin, free will remember.

[–] argh_another_username@lemmy.ca 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Jim Carrey comes to mind in Bruce Almighty, when he starts to say yes to every prayer and thousands win the lottery.

[–] superduperpirate@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Don’t they each win like ten cents or something?

[–] einkorn@feddit.org 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)
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[–] BanjoShepard@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

I thought the god chose the person who had suffered more of the gods torture.

[–] sxan@midwest.social 31 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Now I want to read a book that starts with the sentance:

"The war in heaven started with a spelling bee."

[–] Hammocks4All@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It’s called the boble

[–] sxan@midwest.social 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Could you use that in a sentance?

[–] zaubentrucker@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 years ago

They just did

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[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 28 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Since 2008 Ganesha only lost two times. I guess Jesus is past his prime. And the first loss wasn’t really a loss, since it was 8 first place winners with 7 kids of South Asian descent.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Scripps_National_Spelling_Bee_champions

[–] Paradachshund@lemmy.today 13 points 2 years ago

I mean look at him! Jesus doesn't seem like he has much of a shot against that beast of a deity.

[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 23 points 2 years ago
[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 17 points 2 years ago

I adore this comic for some reason

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] serenissi@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

It's not a god per se, rather the animal companion of Ganesh (Elephant god/ god of people, kinda like god Fufluns of Populonia). The mouse is like a ride of the god.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 13 points 2 years ago

I'd buy that Street Fighter DLC pack.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

This just made me think about Shin Megami Tensei. I think Messiah (the closest equivalent to Jesus) would probably win 1 on 1, but the whole Hindu pantheon would probably wear him down eventuality.

Edit for non-smt fans: SMT is Pokemon for religious and folk mythology. Lol

[–] madjo@feddit.nl 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My money is on the elephant!

I dunno, that balls kick was a hell of a headstart and could change the outcome

[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Interesting tidbit, the National spelling bee was created by Doug Cornette. The Father of loud mouth, racket waving, heel wrestling manager Jim Cornette

Which explains why he was such a word Smith and could talk a mile a minute while insulting the crowd

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

He looks like a thinner version of lives-in-a-van-down-by-the-river guy.

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[–] BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

There's no fucking way a human zombie pacifist Jew would be able to take on a 2-ton humanoid elephant god with six arms and wields weapons 1 v 1.

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[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I would love for Marvel to make this movie.

I mean, the MCU is pretty clearly burnt out, and I wouldn't trust DC to make a movie worth watching.

[–] Indivisability9559@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I am someone who hasn't seen a DC movie since Dark Knight Returns, and who has only seen the Sam Reimi Trilogy and Amazing Spider-man 1 and 2. Is the MCU really as good as people say it is? The trailers I've seen just make them seem like mindless action films.

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