this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2026
777 points (99.4% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

38451 readers
3444 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
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[–] sundray@lemmus.org 80 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Congrats! Here, I got this for you:

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Aww, I’m touched! You shouldn’t have… no really, I don’t think this will fit up there.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@piefed.world 54 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Glad you're here!

Those weekly submissions to the admins are a pain. I'm running out of ideas.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago

I’m glad you are here as well!

As far as the nudes go, I started doing art periods and genres. Impressionism, cubism, surrealism, abstraction… my butthole has many iterations.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 month ago

... stool samples?

... kinda difficult to ship physically, but we could all just literally provide a daily shit post, just so you know how regular we all are, potentially screen for internal bleeding or a few conditions.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thank you for your service 🫘

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Glad to be here!

[–] SillyDude@lemmy.zip 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

While I'm sad lemm.ee shutdown, I'm kinda relieved I don't have to send those admins my used underwear monthly anymore. Lemmy.zip only requires feet pics once to join.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Feet pics once? That’s a bargain. I hope you got a pedicure for your submission!

[–] piranhaconda@mander.xyz 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Which instance should I join if I just lost half a big toenail? Surely someone's into that...

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[–] PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You’re a Lemmy cornerstone. We need more contributors like you!

Also shoutout to all the bean lovers. 🫘

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Thank you! 🫘 forever!

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I didn't understand her bean reference and I'm scrolling down the comments trying to figure it out and it's still pretty cryptic down here.

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[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Those are rookie numbers

(This is in jest, what I post takes less effort)

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You are a legend still. Everyone needs someone to aspire to!

[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 month ago

Thanks!

I do take credit for my comments, tho. Nothing automated there!

[–] VolumetricShitCompressor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well done. You may take a day off to ponder your orb.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Thank you. The orb will be pondered.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Coming up with creative titles to posts is hard

[–] IntriguedIceberg@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Really appreciate the effort. Seen your posts on several communities and I've always enjoyed your content. I always look forwards to your bats and opposum submissions!

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Thank you so much! I do love those night creatures. Gonna get a tattoo of each eventually.

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You made me curious what my own post count was, apparently 4,834 in the past 8 months.

I wonder how many this account has over the full 3 years without the PieFed reset.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Keep going, you’re giving me a run for my money!

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We’ll never top Sunshine, Blaze, and cm0002 across all their accounts.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

No, never, but we each have our place here. And that's what I love about Lemmy. It's my online third place.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

learning how not to poop for 3 days with you guys!

So is this:

  • A) spending a period of 3 days mastering the art of mastering your bowls
  • B) spending that 6000-post-long period learning how to only poop every 3 days
  • C) spending that 6000-post-long period learning how to not poop for a period of 3 days at a time

Either way, I would like to be pointed to the source of this knowledge.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (3 children)

It looks like the original post is gone, but there was a guy 2.5 years ago who asked how to avoid pooping for 3 days. It generated a lot of buzz and was the first big insider meme that appeared on Lemmy to my knowledge.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Oh right. Thank you so much!

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I think in hindsight someone figured out the guy was probably trying to make a joke about being on that sub that sank going to the Titanic.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

That actually makes a lot of sense. Whatever it was, it conquered our collective hearts and minds for days.

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[–] blueworld@piefed.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

https://lemmy.world/post/616615

I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack? - Lemmy.world

lemmy.world

Please don’t ask why I need this. It would be great if the food also made me sweat less. It has to be something I can easily find. EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION: - I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities. - I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere. - I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere. - I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully). - Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself. - If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets. Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

[–] tamal3@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Thank you dearly and sincerely for saving the text. I thought it was gone forever after OP deleted their post (internet terrorism imo). Last i saw the comment section was still kicking around, but without being able to see the question.

Should be in a best of archive and saved for posterity. The set up was important, but the comment section was the best sleuthing around. Would love to know if it actually was the haj.

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Appreciate all you contribute! Coming up on 2000, myself.

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

6,000 posts? I've never seen you once....

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I post a lot in various animal communities and various shitpost/meme communities. If you don’t visit those or have them blocked… you probably wouldn’t see me.

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[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Your pocket beans are leaking.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 1 month ago

Eating beans while trying not to poop is the ultimate challenge.

[–] FirmDistribution@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Happily married but will send feet pics for the right price.

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[–] einfach_orangensaft@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

6k and thats probably just counting the primary account lol, great work!

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[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Your profile says you only have 5.5k!

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Must be calculated differently on boost.

My bad, carry on. But I'm watching you 🧐.

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