"Trust a fart"???
are you mad‽
this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2026
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Drunk at a pretentious Italian restaurant
I was having a piss at the urinal
Luckily, my undies bore the brunt, but it resulted in said undies being binned and me feeling decidedly unclean until I could get home and shower
Before a little league game. Very bad time.
I remember like it was yesterday.
at 7:36am my stomach gurgled and turned so hard it pushed the fart out my intestines with such force, it was like a rocket.
the smell was putrid and suffocating. a miasma filled the room.
I, of course, didn't have to deal with the aftermath directly. I wake up at 9am.
I don't think I ever have. I have enough problems down there to never trust a fart.
My IBS keeps me from trying to be funny in a crowded room like I used to do
The morning of my 30th birthday. I was hungover as hell, went outside to smoke a cigarette and sat down on the concrete steps. I lit up, took a drag, pushed out that fateful fart and coated the inside of my pants. Crappy birthday.
Boarding an airplane...
At one time I worked a block from home, but frequently needed to drive around town, so I would drive into the office. At the same time I was trying to drink more water and was using the propylene-glycol additive Mio for flavor. This has a.... loosening effect in sufficient doses.
So, in the one block drive between work and home on a lunch break, I gambled and lost. Skipped lunch and showered instead.