Shouldn't Alberta be part of Jesusland?
this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2026
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Eh Buddy Hoser
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Sincerely,
An Illinois Resident
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Californian here.
Where do I sign?
I've heard Jesus Land is a fucking hellhole
As someone who lives in Wisconsin I'm thankful for bordering Illinois and Minnesota. Otherwise I don't think we would've made the cut to get into the USC
As someone who knows a lot of wisconsinites I can confirm
This Canadian says fuck no unless we export all the MAGA and purge all the handguns.
I've been in parts of rural Oregon before. They grow them dumb and mean there. Some of the worst people I've ever met in my life were in rural Oregon.
Way different than weird Portland.
I live in southern oregon and work in a conservative dominated industry. These people are actually insane. They are the embodiment of the memes and supposed strawmans about MAGA. Anytime somebody says conservatives don't actually believe something stupid they should have to spend a month with these guys. The year has been infuriating watching these guys complain about how bad shits going and then blaming everything but what they voted for.
planning to expel all gop from office, and any of thier supporters. considering gop states already trying to expel Dem voters anyways.
Californian here.
It's the same with California. Once you get out of population centers it doesn't take too long before you're in "I Fuck My Cousin" territory.
As a resident of illinois, I am honored to be included.
New Jerusalem
Jesus would abandon those idiots within a New York second and take his name with him. Rename it to The Fucknut Confederation.
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What is this bullshit. AZ, NM, CO, NV do not belong in Jesusland
Half the joke of these maps is looking at State Of X and thinking its some kind of monolith, as though Pensytucky, Staten Island, southern Illinois, and Silicon Valley want anything to do with a Mark Carney government.
Silicon Valley would be 100% with the current government. All of the owners/founders benefit greatly from Neo-Lib policies.
Stop lumping everyone in neat little buckets. Even in the most red of states you’d be abandoning 40% of voters to these fascists. This there are a lot of non voters.
And there are plenty of fascists in blue states and Canada.
Stop lumping everyone in neat little buckets
It's not like you can swoop in and take just Austin. But if you storm in and take all of Texas, you'll be overrun by the majority of fascists.
I would say you need to take the blue and perhaps the purple states, get them self-sufficient with proper healthcare, raise the quality of life up to par, fix education, the judicial system, and elder care. The blue cities within the red states will gladly immigrate, leaving behind a broken and desolated hellscape in their wake that the rural residents wouldn't touch. Taxes will go through the roof with population drain. The blue cities and suburbs will grow. You'll get more of the red to convert. Your own housing crisis will just evaporate.
If you try to eat the red shit-sandwhich whole, the red will just add to your own red and we'll be drinking our poison from the same vine.
Count me in, Illinois fucking hates Trump. Well, at least the useful part up north of I-88.
We call them Provinces here.
Shouldn't Alberta be part of Jesusland?
Then free Québec so they can speak french in peace 😂
I don't think Jesus would want to be associated with this dump.
Well, good, he won't be as upset when he gets deported.
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Everyone should approve this maps because it makes Canada look like a cute dragon puffing out a little fire newfoundland
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Unironically, please? I don't wanna be part of Jesusland anymore
Fuck you I live in the middle of that red area and I want out give me Blue too!
Colorado is not going to fall….we can take Nevada, Arizona and Utah easy they are very purple and sparsely populated
Yeah, Nevada, Arizona and New Mexico, yes. I’m not sure about Utah though. Isn’t Utah a hard red state?
It is but it only has 3.5 million and Colorado needs a path to freedom.
NOFX, JeusLand. I love this song. NOFX taught me a lot about satire when I was a teen. See the song, "You Drink, You Drive, You Spill," and 'Drugs Are Cool."
I want some drugs. Life sucked less when I was taking them. But also, we didn't have a fucking batshit leader. Give me drugs so I won't care.
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