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In the years that I've lived in Toronto, I've frequently heard complaints about dating from all genders 💔

lautan, I'm sorry to hear about your less than fortunate experiences 😔

And I hope you will understand that this says a lot about our current social circumstances in this city than it does about you, personally.

As the song goes, sometimes there just "ain't no love in the heart of the city"...

Attractiveness of men has a lot to do with status. A good job and income is one way, but not the only one. A broke and unemployed artist, like a locally known DJ, attracts women easily.

Being able to provide interesting and fun experiences is also attractive. If you’re able to make someone feel good, they will want to spend more time with you. Money helps with this, but isn’t necessary.

Positions of power, even very minor ones, also help attraction. When I was a lead organizer for a local non profit, I got laid all the time.

Physical beauty matters immensely as well. Although some women choose less hot men, because they want their mate to not have easily available alternative options. A nice haircut, good hygiene, tasteful clothing, being in shape all matter.

Women between 18 and 29 get a lot of attention from men of all ages. They can be picky. Attractiveness of women decreases from their mid 30s onwards. There are other reasons, but the main is the ability to birth children. Fertility for women decreases sharply in their 40s. For men it’s different. While they’re still studying or starting in life in their early 20s, they compete with 35 year olds, who have more money, more life experience, more confidence, more skills, while still looking young.

Together this leads to men typically dating women the same age or up to 15 years younger. That means a 25 year old man has a dating pool of 18 to 25 year olds, while a 25 year old woman has a range of 25 to 40 year olds. That’s double!

For me personally I experienced a huge change in my ability to attract women after I turned 30. It has become so much easier, across the board. Now I‘m in my 40s and sometimes sleep with women in their 20s, that would have been way out of my league back when I was her age.

That said, it’s possible at any age to find a partner, that fits you. Be social in a way where you meet lots of potential partners regularly and you have status in one way or another. Being a valuable member of a community is a good way of getting there. Ideally this is a community formed around an interest of yours.

Take a look at how many woman are murdered by there partners. Take a look at how many woman experience sexual harassment or worse often at a very young age.

I think it’s pretty reasonable for a woman to put a man „on probation“ until he „probates“ himself.

None of this is your fault. But it’s also not the fault of the woman your dating.

And to be honest: everyone should take a very good look at a potential partner and be sure who this person is, that you try to spend (at least a significant part of) your life with.