The Onion

(Zürich, Switzerland) As tensions mount between the US and Iran, FIFA, the world governing body for football, released a press statement reiterating that their Peace Prize only involved match play as regulated by the sports authority. “This prize is only related to events occurring during football match play, on the pitch, during the time of regulation play.”

In December, FIFA awarded US president donald trump the peace prize, almost one month before the US attacked the capital of Venezuela and kidnapped their President, during a brief lull in US extrajudicial killings in the Gulf of Mexico. Trump called the award “one of the great honors of my life.”

FIFA notes that there have been no red cards issued since the award was presented, and trump himself has never been carded while on the field.

The announcement has caused some anger in Tehran, where officials are calling out FIFA for pulling sponsorship of continuous games being scheduled at air bases and military facilities around Iran, saying the games were only an attempt to use the good reputation of the peace prize to prevent attacks. FIFA called the move “so low, even we would rarely attempted it.”