Autism

Not a therapist but I am someone who is going through it. What worked for me, initially, was to use a task management app (Google tasks, super Productivity, tasks.org, etc). You mentioned having a planner so just roll a dice and go with one. My first step was to create some daily reminder in my phone. My phone works best for me but anything that will remind you to check your planned works. My first one goes off at 630am (normally a bit after I wake up but before my kids are up) and use this opportunity to check my planner/master task list. I have a daily task list that I have divided into three levels: A, B, and C. A level tasks are things that need to be done in the next 24 hours. Think appointments, assignments that are due, social events, personal tasks, etc. I was also encouraged to put personal hygiene things that I wasn't doing well. For example I had a "floss your teeth" repeating task that went off at 10pm. B level tasks were things that were a medium priority and often tasks part of a greater project. You mentioned already breaking down tasks so that would be an example. Another example could be dishes (assuming they are from that day), or a paragraph of your essay. C Level are little things that are easy to accomplish. Things like reading your emails, check the mail, ect. These tasks don't really have an importance as long as they aren't required to be done in the next 24 hours and take less than 10 min. When my first reminder came in on my phone, I would then go into my master task list (which for me is broken into tasks for tasks for the next month and tasks beyond) and I look to move them from the master list into the daily tasks list under the above categories. I had multiple reminders in my phone each day to check my list. My phone would vibrate and a notification would pop up to prompt me. However, I never clicked the tasks as done unless it was done. Driving to do something? Doesn't matter until it is done. My biggest struggle was being realistic. So some days I would only have one thing in the A level, 2-3 things in the B and C. Then, as I got more used to the structure I created I was able to do less and more. For example, I have kids and initially I was putting in "pick up kids" in the A level. But then I learned that wasn't really necessary anymore because I always prioritized that and didn't forget so I stopped. I also created repeatable tasks for things around the house: laundry, dishes, tidy, etc so that I wouldn't have to repeat it. A few closing points, 1) this is a system that works for me. I don't know if it will work for you and you may want to discuss prioritization as a skill with your therapist. 2) You don't have to accomplish 100% of you tasks (outside of the A) ever single day. This is a marathon not a sprint and self care is important. 3) you can also put self care things in. An hour of video games, exercise, a walk, reading, etc. 4) If you don't finish something on your daily list, make a mental or physical note and it becomes slightly more important the next day. Didn't do the dishes? Still a B but after 2 days probably an A. Emails? Now that I haven't read them for 5 days, the number is high and now it may take me longer to read them all so it's a B. Lastly, try to have fun with it. Gamify yourself (I like chocolate as a reward) and know that this is a lifelong skill that will take practice. There is no magic solution here. Best of luck 🤞.

I like the pomodoro technique. Breaks your time up into focussed chunks so you guarantee to make some progress on one thing within a chunk and helps build momentum.

If you get into routine you may even be able to plan whole days e.g. spend 8 pomodoros on your essay and the remaining pomodoros can be distributed across chores, other small admin.

The focus helps avoid overwhelm. You can put other concerns out of your mind whilst in a pomodoro as you know they will get their own pomodoro later.

Can also be adjusted for your energy levels, maybe some days you're only going to get a few pomodoros done but that's ok, you're still moving forward.

The regular enforced breaks are also helpful to avoid sitting still for too long and paying attention to bodily needs.

Doesn't help with prioritisation directly but knowing you've got a fixed number of daily pomodoros to 'spend' may help you think about where your time goes in a systematic manner.

So I'm a giant mess of a person right now and I made a post recently asking for similar advice (kinda?) - please read this with that in mind. I certainly haven't figured it all out but this is what I am trying and have generally had some success with.

I recognize that living alone made some things easier and others harder for me but I've also included some things I use at work where I work independently. That environment might be more comparable.

Some of these things take a lot of effort and you can't just "do them". This approach is more about building patterns and "rules" you can learn on.

• Identify patterns for when I tend to be more able to do certain things. I can't clean when there is no sunlight for example, and like hell I'm doing any bill paying or budgeting if it's not first thing in the morning (same goes for financial and admin stuff at work lol). Calling someone? Need privacy, a notebook and a dedicated block of time.

• get a sense of how many tasks you can handle in a day. Weekends off work I can probably do 1-3 per day, but I need to be home from any excursions by about noon or the day is over lol. Breaking things up into tasks here is helpful because you might be treating something as one task but when you actually go to do it you see it's got a million steps and maybe you can't handle it any more. Knowing that in advance makes me feel way less flustered when I want to switch tasks.

• get a sense of how long you need to rest/reset between tasks and how much rest is too much. You should rest if you are tired but sometimes for me rest morphs into an activity which is a task...and before you know it it's game over man.

• once you have an idea of what conditions are best for each type of task you can use that to figure out when you are doing them. That's not quite the same thing as prioritization but for repetitive tasks it works pretty well. I do a certain cleaning task every morning while my coffee cools because I know I'm not going to do it when I get home from work.

• it's not the same as prioritizing but if you can make tasks easier on you (as if you can book appointments via email if they don't offer online or things like that), you'll be able to do the task under a wider range of conditions.

• things like essays are always hard for me because I have no idea how long they take but knowing it has a deadline maybe that means you can try and use up your good thinking/writing time for that first, and then other things can come second to that. (Do as I say not as I do 🫣)

• I also try and keep a list of tasks I can do right now without much transition. This goes hand in hand with making things easier for you. I can pay a bill at anytime on my phone, but maybe I won't enter it into my budget. At least it's paid - I did the most critical part - and it can wait until a weekend morning to be entered into the budget.

For me the worst part is the panic and paralysis. Giving myself permission to do one or two things in the weekend and one very tiny thing after work each day helps a lot. This week my after work tasks are:

• Monday: hardware store, take out trash/recycling (busy day, but hardware store is urgent)
• Tuesday: rest from Monday (not joking lol)
• Wednesday: Costco
• Thursday: rest
• Friday: Therapy