this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2025
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At least you have a cubicle.
Me, who is working in a big open space type of office...
Oh God I hate open space offices.
I work in digital marketing. And the sales people on their phones drives me nuts. The customer service on their phones drive me nuts. The managers in their meetings in person/on zoom drive me nuts. HR walking around making health checks and small talk drive me nuts.
Just enclose me in a coffin already
They have been proven multiple times to significantly decrease productivity but they are cheaper to build. Visual and sound distractions break up concentration when you are tying to work.
I had one place that insisted on an open office with these these torture style "ergonomic" chairs. I hated the setup so did some sleuthing. The chair model was discontinued because they sucked and the company got them on a steep discount. The "open office" desks where 1/8 the price of a traditional cubical setup.
I used to miss my cubicle until I started working from home.
Remote > Cubicle > Open Floor Plan.
Open floor plans are so so stupid.
And then they lie to you about the supposed benefits. Helps collaboration my ass.
100%. It's stupidly simple. They're cheaper to build, use less floor space so cheaper corporate rent, and BONUS gives management a direct view of you so they can helicopter micromanage your every waking minute.
That's it. And they managed to capitalize on the "cubicle hell" hate that was never true for me at all.
My office is moving buildings and they are having an open floor plan. Of course, they are going on and on about collaboration, but they also mentioned that they are getting everyone noise cancelling headphones and will have multiple white noise machines. Dear god how loud do they expect it to be? It sounds like a complete nightmare.
This is the story of a man named Stanley...
Stanley has an entire room... while most of his "coworkers" share open floor plans.
Lol I would give a kidney to have a high-walled cubicle like that again.
I swear to god, minus the “Surfing Corporate” logo I had this EXACT cubicle down to the chair and phone and carpet.
And that file cabinet / drawer thing.
Mine was a darker shade of grey...
Same. Jeebus.
The Matrix can't come up with new assets for every battery. That would be inefficient.
Hey, it's my old desk! I did escape, ironically now people are trapped in an open panopticon prison.
"Stanley stepped out of his office"
Even Stanley at least had a computer. And optionally a bucket.
This looks like Neo's cubicle in the Matrix.
https://images.scrolller.com/nano/the-matrix-path-of-neo-office-level-1vxgx1y8vx.jpg
Solved
This is an exact clone of the cubes at work.
And upper management is too stupid/malicious/greedy to acknowledge why nobody wants to come into the office, when all our jobs can be done remotely.
Please tell me where the exit is, I've been looking for a while
