Ask Lemmy

Kind of curious if The Room would be a good movie with a talented lead, or just forgettable.

If you recast Jared Leto in Tron: Aries, everyone might have actually tried instead of saying "This is gonna flop anyways, why bother writing a good script?"

Double recast in the MCU:
Starlord should have been played by Jeremy Renner, and Hawkeye should have been played by Crisp Ratt.

It would have fit the characterization in the comics better. In the comics, Hawkeye is more of a goofy wisecracking dude who gets lots of chicks, and Starlord is more of a responsible & respectable straight-man for the rest of the GotG to annoy with their weirdness.

Some guys made a ten-hour film about paint drying to piss off the censors. Replacing the wall with about anybody would probably be a vast improvement...

This is an old one, but the Maltese Falcon is a nearly perfect movie, but it is absolutely ruined by Mary Astor as the femme fatale.

She's supposed to be this stunningly beautiful woman, Spade's Secretary warns him to brace himself before she comes in because "she's a looker." Then she enters, and she's just sort of normal. Then his partner comes in and completely loses his shit over how gorgeous she is, and I'm sitting there thinking "Her? What's the big deal?"

Throughout the entire film, she's portrayed as this conniving woman whom Bogey can't resist, but I just didn't see any chemistry at all.

I told my son, who is an extremely knowledgeable cinephile, and he told me that's a thing. Filmies have noticed how absolutely wrong she was for that part. She was a fine actress, but that role called for a completely different kind of actress. It was probably a studio thing, insisting that she get the part, since she was between pictures, and they wanted something high profile to boost her career, and a Bogey mystery would be perfect. Unfortunately, she was terrible in that role.

Who should replace her? Pretty much anyone else at the time, maybe Barbara Stanwyck.

Suicide Squad. Jared Leto is replaced by Jim Carrey.

I honestly can't tell if I'm serious about this or not.

Remove Joel Silver from the production team of the Matrix: Reloaded and Revolutions. Creative control to the Wachowskis.

Allow the countercultural, noir elements that made the first Matrix excellent. Police and innocent bystanders are potential if not actual enemies. Fewer set-piece fights; more skillful, thoughtful moments like the fight against Seraph.

And, certainly, a different end-fight arc. Once Smith has the Oracle's power, a slugfest stops making sense.

I guess Steven Seagall movies are the low-hanging fruit, huh?

Okay, semi-semi-serious answer: the first Aliens Vs Predator movie. I replace the predator with Animal from the Muppet Show. That would at least make the movie fun.

The Borderlands movie. Anyone other than who they casted. Lilith is between late 20s to middle 30s. Roland is supposed to be a intimidating soldier. And Jack Black for Claptrap?! Come on

Valerian. Recast both leads if you can, but in a pinch just DeHaan. Give Valerian himself a single iota of charisma and the movie ends up a slight but interesting lark instead of a slog.

There’s a line I’ve heard a couple times that if you swapped the pairs from Valerian and Passengers, both movies end up better, if maybe not quite “good.”

All bad movies

Replace all actors with Nick Cage

Snow White and the Huntsman could have been decent, but Kristen Stewart is terrible in it. She's not a bad actress (see Underwater) but she's not the right fit at all here.

Star wars prequels. Jarjar replaced by nobody.

Replacing Chris Pratt in Jurassic Park. He's cringe

I could improve on the film adaptation of Eragon by replacing the entire cast with Thunderbirds-style puppets.