this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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top 20 comments
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[–] Broadfern@lemmy.world 36 points 4 days ago (2 children)

That’s every day in my house

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (2 children)

This guy bangs so many cops

[–] rainwall@piefed.social 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Bang is apprently cops energy drink of choice.

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Broadfern@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Lolno

If I had a glass of water and a cop was on fire, I’d start drinking though.

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Chug that shit

[–] Thurmyte@sh.itjust.works 17 points 4 days ago

1312… ACAB?

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

My favorite cop jokes:

  1. how many good cops does it take to change a lightbulb? I'll let you know when good cops change anything.

  2. The cops are like a box of chocolates. They'll kill your fucking dog.

  3. Cops be like: You can't call me a racist! Look, my wife's eye is black.

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

They wouldn't change the bulb, just beat the room for being black.

[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 4 days ago (3 children)

How am I supposed to find a cop to fuck on such short notice?

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago

Call in an ICE tip, at least one responder is absolutely on Grindr and lying

Cop RP counts in a pinch

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Be black and asleep, they will bust your door at 2 am

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago

It's also Dick Van Dykes 100th birthday today!

[–] LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I drive by a huge police station in my (relatively) small town ever day. I make sure to yell fuck the police every time i drive by.

[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Narrator: his body was never found.

[–] LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 3 points 4 days ago

I mean, most of the time my radio is on and my windows are up so...

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

Is it Smarch 12 already?

Thanks for the reminder