this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] SW42@lemmy.world 68 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Your comment reminded me that at the conclusion all the donuts will be glazed

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[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You have inspired my autism.

Banana for scale?

Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Donut.

Extremely standardized, as far as donuts go.


Dimensions?

Outer Diameter = ~4 inches

Inner Diameter = ~ 1 inch

Height = ~ 1.5 inches


So...

An approximately average, enthusiasticly participating man should be able to get 3 on there, with the uh, additional frosting nozzle still visible, or nearly so.

2? Below average.

1? Probably an actual, diagnosable micropeen.

4? Above average.

5? Something like 1 out of 10,000 in terms of how rare that level of above average is.

... 6? More like 1 out of 1,000,000 in rarity.


How snug is the fit?

Somewhat snug?

Average.

Very snug, moderately noticable donut tearing?

Above Average.

Not snug? Loose?

Below Average.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Great, we're halfway to publishing this thesis! Let's send your analysis to a Tier 1 research journal ASAP!

/s :)

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

This will become the new ISO DickDonut measuring standard.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 weeks ago

Sounds good to me, lol!

Economists have used the uh, "BigMac Index" with an increasing level of seriousness, over the last decades... so why not?

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[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I mean, there are lots of studies on the distribution of male donut pole sizes, I'm just doing a rough comparison to the latest meta-analyses of such data.

I can provide sources...

... if you give me a donut.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Why are you posting a pic of my fleshlight?

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 weeks ago

Is that a bitcoin?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 36 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Not really. Do you know any guy with a girth that small?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 47 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Yeah; they're all in the White House.

[–] RaoulDuke25@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Stephen Millimeter for sure.

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[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

You want the donut to be tight so it provides a cock ring effect.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 4 points 2 weeks ago

Glazing also coming up.

[–] Tedesche@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

Oh, I know this one. It’s called being glazed.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

Only if you clean off the frosting with no hands.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

This would also make me (m) happy.

Who loses in this situation?

No one.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

my ego, once we realise it can barely hold a single donut

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 13 points 2 weeks ago
[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That's fine, it just becomes a balancing task.

way too many people are gathering around my penis trying to stack donuts. at least its a fun group activity

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hey I mean, that just means it takes more handiwork from the... donut stacker... to eat the same number of donuts.

You've already phrased this with 'we', so don't worry Albert, I'll happily munch whatever number of donuts from your donut pole singly, as many times as it takes for me to uh, get my fill.

=P

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

it's not the size that matters, but which donuts we get

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

...as well as the consistency and volume of their glazing...

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

you can always add an empty one at the end for me to fill with cream

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

...

... but Albert.

I am very hungry.

[>:D]

wasn't expecting to sext here. but now I'm hungry

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[–] CluelessDude@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 weeks ago

Idk man the best I can make it look is probably using a bag of Funyuns and even that is a stretch

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Were you the pole or the gobbler?

[–] elvith@feddit.org 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 weeks ago

He can put 25 donuts on his spine.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago
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[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

Fruit loops for me.

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Let me stuff donut bike holes in it

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

That's how you make your own donut holes.

[–] Credibly_Human@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Some donuts are getting ripped apart.

[–] stiffyGlitch@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

it was too good of a chance to pass up

[–] stiffyGlitch@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

I had to. it was too good of a chance to pass up

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