this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 37 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

I feel like bananas are the same way:

too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, too green, perfectly ripe for an hour, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown, too brown

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did you mean to say "avocadoes"? Got 2 rotting in my fridge right now. :(

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

avocadoes

Both forms are accepted. 👍

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[–] FishFace@piefed.social 5 points 1 month ago

Bananas here last about three days of perfect, then become merely good for a few more

[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

In the interim- fruit flies fruit flies fruit flies...

I've given up on keeping fresh fruit around.

[–] KawaiiBitch@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Stovetop every time babe♡

Can't be beat ♡

[–] PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago

I only just noticed your username. Lmao

[–] Little8Lost@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I put our (cheap) air popper in a big box so it cant really "miss the bowl" :D

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Two air poppers, a whirly pop, and a, bags of microwave shit for emergencies

[–] NightmareQueenJune@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

And put sugar in the pot as soon as the first kernel starts to pop!

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Make it in a pot. The taller the pot, the less popped corn will be touching the bottom, so less is burnt as the others take time to finish. 👌

[–] Jyrdano@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago
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[–] trash_goblin@piefed.zip 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Guys, you just listen and wait until there's three seconds between pops, then it's done.

[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] cravl@slrpnk.net 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I knew what that link was before even opening it. 🍿💦💨🪄

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I didn't click it but it's Technology Connections, right?

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

And now, through the magic of posting it twice, you can watch it again, or for the first time:

Popcorn Button

[–] trash_goblin@piefed.zip 3 points 1 month ago

I could fall asleep listening to him tell me all about why I should use the pre-wash function on the dishwasher.

[–] SpicyTaint@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Am I weird for liking slightly burnt popcorn? I'm not being sarcastic, it's so good.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Yes but we like weird

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[–] ynthrepic@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

I can smell this post and the disappointment.

[–] phaedrus@piefed.world 8 points 1 month ago

If rule 34 is for porn, then rule 37 is for corn

[–] 123@programming.dev 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Fake, 3:37 should still have some un-popped kernels.

[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Then you run for 3-5 seconds after it cools a moment, then let it rest in the microwave for about 20 seconds and it’ll keep popping in the hotbox.

[–] 123@programming.dev 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Instructions unclear HOUSE ON FIRE! HALP!

[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Aha but no more un-popped kernels!

[–] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

So should 3:38.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Imagine making microwave popcorn. Smh

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (7 children)

I make stovetop popcorn in the microwave.

The real trick is to actually read the god damn directions, which tell you to not let the time go all the way and stop the process once the kernels are popping longer than 1 second apart. If, once it starts popping, 1 full second goes by without a pop, it's done.

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[–] trash_goblin@piefed.zip 10 points 1 month ago

Some of us live in the future. A future where every time I make popcorn my blueteeth speakers crackle so I can't hear my cryptobro podcast and go all in on bitcoin in 2018.

[–] KittyCat@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Stop making your popcorn in the microwave!

[–] AnimalsDream@slrpnk.net 5 points 1 month ago

I have a popcorn popping machine like what they have in theaters. I was going to sell it because it takes up way too much space and I need the money, but then I tested it out and it is one of my favorite things. When I have cravings, I flood it full of perfectly cooked, salted, and oiled popcorn within minutes, and fill an 8 qt Instant Pot pot because cylinder shapes hold more popcorn than bowl shapes can.

Sometimes the adult thing to do is have popcorn for dinner.

[–] M137@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Very burnt popcorn is such a horrific smell and it takes so long to go away.

[–] kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

But a little burnt(I do man a little) is awesome!

[–] kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

2 minutes and 13 seconds exactly for my popcorn.

It took several tries

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 3 points 1 month ago

I found the best way is coconut oil and a wok. Pops pretty much all of it, rarely burns any.

[–] tkk13909@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

If it exists, there's someone on the internet watching it while eating corn?

[–] FosterMolasses@leminal.space 3 points 1 month ago

Literally me last night.

Stopped it at 3:37:30, so only seared a small section at the bottom.

[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Popcorn tastes so much better when you overcook it in the break room microwave at work.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago

Ok, so what you rule over Popcorn? What is there to Popcorn? What kinds do you even make?

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