this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 31 comments
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[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Botunda@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Ya got me with that one!

[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Everyone knows that wiping makes you gay

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What if you were already gay?

Are you now gay and also a buttpooper?

[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 10 points 1 month ago

you become gay^2^

[–] diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago
[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I always thought this was a joke but I knew a girl who dated a guy who wouldn't fully clean his ass in the shower because he thought getting his finger anywhere near his butthole was gay.

I have a hard time even comprehending the thought process.

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 22 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I'm in asia. They don't use toilet paper. They use water and soap. Like civilized people.

I FEAR going back to Europe. My asshole is puckering already. Using toilet paper is like sandpapering your anus. And it doesn't even clean it. And it clogs toilets. And it costs us trees. And it costs money. And it's fucking nasty. And when you buy it in the store, people will know that you poop.

[–] webp@mander.xyz 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

People will probably know you poop even when not buying paper

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

noooo, they may SUSPECT. They may not KNOW.

There's a very fine but critical difference.

Jokes on you, I don't poop. I just use toilet paper to blow my nose.

[–] scytale@piefed.zip 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You can buy a portable bidet that is basically a squeeze bottle with a nozzle. I always carry a small bottle of liquid soap in my bag so I can wash anywhere. I also have an empty water bottle in my bag’s side pocket that I can fill up when I don’t have the portable bidet with me.

[–] Master@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

I have a water bottle bidet attachment that I carry when traveling. Then just Cary a bottle of water around with me.

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have a squeezable silicone bidet thing and I love it.

[–] Botunda@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wait, so does that thing/those things go into your butthole?

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 1 points 1 month ago

No, at least not the thing I mean. It has a spray head oriented sideways and if you squeeze it water comes out with pressure depending on how hard you squeeze it.

You point the spray head towards your butthole and water cleans everything. I still use TP afterwards but only to dry my butt and it's always clean.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

TIL a bunch of people are walking around with sloppy wet buttholes.

[–] capuccino@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

*breaths heavily* yea

[–] BluesF@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Alternatively you could dry yourself afterwards.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

with what? a shit covered hand towel?

[–] BluesF@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Well hopefully after you use the bidet there won't be any shit there lol, but no. The last few times I used a bidet there was TP as well, you just dab yourself dry with a little bit and put it in a bin. Less paper, not in the sewer, but you get a dry arse. Best of both worlds.

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Are you too good for a bidet?

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

if the options are wet or dry butthole, I'll take dry.

I mean, I bathe regularly and don't scratch my butthole so I don't think there's many positive tradeoffs to using a bidet if I have to walk around with a sloppy dripping crack.

[–] JabbaTheThott@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I genuinely think a lot of people are just scared of liking it. The repression in the US is crazy in a lot of areas lol. "Can't have anything feel good on the no-no-hole"

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] JabbaTheThott@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Yeah but Im sure it's a mix of dirty bootys and people who rinse without direct contact

[–] UnrefinedChihuahua@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Imagine not having a bidet. Gross.

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

100%

If I go somewhere they don't have one, I use the shower handle. Fuck walking around with shit smeared around your asshole because of bizarre Western cultural norms.

[–] BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 2 points 1 month ago

Shower pending...

[–] DioramaOfShit@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Might as well wipe with your hand. More likely to wash em afterwards