this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2025
609 points (98.9% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

35698 readers
5323 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 111 points 1 day ago (5 children)

More like about 10,000 years ago when humans started farming and agriculture to grow crops at scale to make bread ... then at about the same time they domesticated cows in order to harvest milk and figure out how to make and store butter.

[–] ShamanRonin@lemmy.world 9 points 23 hours ago

We gatekeeping bread now?

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 61 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The earliest known bread recipe dates back approximately 14,500 years, discovered in a stone fireplace at a site in northeastern Jordan, where charred remains of a pita-like flatbread were found.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 62 points 1 day ago (1 children)

where charred remains of a pita-like flatbread were found

Man, it must have been hella stale by then.

[–] Opisek@piefed.blahaj.zone 51 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Nothing a little water and microwave can't fix

[–] siha@feddit.uk 1 points 14 hours ago

Just gotta put a glass of water next to it

[–] TeNppa@sopuli.xyz 35 points 1 day ago (3 children)

And "only" 5000 years if you count when people started using yeast for bread production, since the bread ain't the same without yeast.

[–] NateNate60@lemmy.world 37 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Behold! The bread hierarchy!

Flour + water = hardtack

Flour + water + yeast = bread

Flour + water + yeast + butter = toast

Flour + water + leavener + butter + sugar = muffin

Flour + water + leavener + butter + sugar + eggs = cake

Flour + water + leavener + butter + sugar + eggs + chocolate = brownie

Flour + water + leavener + butter + sugar + eggs + chocolate + cream = cupcake

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Flour + water = hardtack

clack clack

:D

[–] linkinkampf19@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 5 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)
[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's pretty hard not to use yeast. It's everywhere and if you wait long it enough it'll start to ferment. Look at what some Orthodox Jews go through to make unleavened bread.

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I got the opposite of whet you meant at first, did you mean 'to prevent it from leavening at all'? I found this in wiki and only then did I got it:

Dough is considered to begin the leavening process 18 minutes from the time it gets wet; sooner if eggs, fruit juice, or milk is added to the dough. The entire process of making matzah takes only a few minutes in efficient modern matzah bakeries.

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 1 points 5 hours ago

Sorry for the confusion. This 18 minutes thing was exactly what I tried to say!

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There are plenty of bread without yeast.

[–] TeNppa@sopuli.xyz 5 points 22 hours ago

Yes there are, but the one in the picture clearly was made with yeast.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 5 points 1 day ago

I know this, and you know this. Shh. Don't ruin the meme

[–] Rothe@piefed.social 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Pre-agricultural humans did still have access to flour and milk though.

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But what did they milk to make butter?

[–] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I just made some homemade butter by accident and it fucking slaps so hard

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

No wonder. You slapped it first to get butter. SCNR

But for real. Fresh homemade food usually tastes better than store-bought food.

[–] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Slapping cream into butter is some karate kid shit

[–] DonEladio@feddit.org 14 points 1 day ago
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 39 points 1 day ago (8 children)

I could make bread right now. But I just want to eat bread right now. I don't wanna wait for it to rise and cook 😩

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

As an USAmerican. The absolute travesty that we sell in the grocery store is one of the worst crimes against humanity.

I want to live in world where we're all walking distance from a bakery that makes real bread daily.

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Yeah, I'm also from the US and my grocery store sells pretty solid breads. I also have solid French and Italian bakeries walking distance from my house. I also live in the suburbs.

Some people only have Dollar General.

US very big and very varied. So I'm from Jersey, if that helps, because I think it's important to be specific. We have great bread, great bagels, great pizza and for this I am very thankful.

[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 1 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

do your grocery stores not all have bakeries in house, too?

like, I get that Walmart and the like can price out local bakeries, and then sell you shit "fresh" bread instead once they've forced the local small businesses to close. but it's better than the stuff that never moulds, yeah?

[–] adminofoz@lemmy.cafe 4 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

Walmart baked in house bread is close to the never molds variety. It uses modern GMO wheat with added preservatives and shortcut chemicals to reduce prep time from days to hours. Not to mention added sugars. Defending it would be like defending Subways "fresh baked bread" which isn't even legally allowed to be called bread in certain European countries. At one point they were caught putting the stuff in foam yoga mats in their bread.

In my opinion, that "bread" is a very distant cousin of homemade sourdough spelt (or whatever locally sourced whole grains was available) traditional known as bread.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 22 hours ago

Super Walmarts and Neighborhood Markets actually have bakeries and make real bread, too.

[–] Swaus01@piefed.social 27 points 1 day ago

I guarantee you will still want to eat some bread later, and you'll even thank your past self for making the bread

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Dunno where you're at but Trader Joe's sells these half-baked breads, so you just pop it in the oven and bring it over the finish line. They're honestly not half bad, and you get freshly baked bread.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] kelpie_returns@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] ReginaPhalange@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] GeorgimusPrime@lemmy.world 13 points 23 hours ago

This is how the Britishpronounced it after drinking all the T

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] kelpie_returns@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's "bread and butter" but with some silly on it. Not a real word lol

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Could have been swedish or something, lol.

[–] Samskara@sh.itjust.works 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

It’s smörebröd in Swedish, I think.

[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 1 points 5 hours ago

i want s’morebrod

[–] nailbar@sopuli.xyz 2 points 22 hours ago

Not enough umlauts

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

Thanks for the meal inspo OP

I think I'll go and make this right now

[–] y0kai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And then for some of us, our bodies are like, "lol you've had enough of this. Now even just crumbs will fuck you up for a week or more." It was a good run.

[–] RecursiveParadox@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

F for respects (seriously, hope i never feel your pain, have known some with it too)

[–] ohlaph@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

I love dipping that in some Zatar dip. I basically add a bit of olive oild to a small dish, then salt to taste a bunch of zatar, mix then dip away!!!

load more comments
view more: next ›