this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2025
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Today I Learned

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Parent-child relationships

Trauma bonds in parent-child or caregiver-child dynamics can be borne from abuse, neglect, or incestuous relationships. Abuse and/or neglect

Children of dismissive caregivers or cruel caregivers can develop insecure attachments, which can be very dysfunctional. Inconsistencies in reward and punishment (i.e., intermittent reinforcement of good and bad treatment) can highlight the affection the child receives from the parent, forcing a split between the abuse and the kindness such that the child seeks to form an overall positive view of the caregiver and thus focuses only on the affection and kindness they receive. Overall, a trauma bond develops such that the child's sense of self is derived from their emotional dependence on the authority figure, who, in this case, is the parent and/or caregiver.

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[–] Ardyssian@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 hours ago

I thought this was equivalent to Stockholm Syndrome

[–] y0kai@anarchist.nexus 41 points 1 day ago (1 children)

TIL that it is between the victim and abuser, and not between two victims.

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I mean that's the movie trope I think. I think that would be more accurately phrased as "bonding over shared trauma".

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

How do you think military bonding forms? When you're in the shit, you're not thinking of your country. You're thinking of your buddies.

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago

It's such an insidious thing and for me it was very difficult to escape from because I kept rationalizing the abuse I was subjected to.

To anyone currently living in this kind of environment: Get out as soon as possible. I know it is hard and maybe they try to convince you that no one will ever like or love you/care for you as much as they do but it's not true. As soon as you have the opportunity, leave them, and cut all contact.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 12 points 1 day ago

this also prevelant in conservative relationship where the woman adheres to an emotionally abusive husband.