memes

yes except we do not have sports in common

What these sounds mean, he thought, is: I am alive and so are you. And we're all very worried that we might not be alive for much longer, so we'll just keep talking, because that's better than thinking.

- Truckers, Terry Pratchett

As an autism, I would prefer society to function more like a Japanese train. I do not want to be bothered with small talk.

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I don't know what downvoting this makes me, but I am that

To clarify, there is a word that accurately describes how I feel, but I'm too stupid to know it

EDIT: disillusioned. The word was disillusioned

As long as the other person(s) can actually hold a convo, don't care if the conversation is as deep as the shallow end of the kiddie pool.

Yeah. I got over my hangups about small talk when I started working for a well-known people person with a big, room-filling personality. Watching him "work" several people a day, I realized he was just on autopilot, repeating the same lines over and over like an NPC. I realized, "shit, I can do that."

"Small talk" is actually one of the most powerful tools for connection we have. It’s not meaningless chatter; it’s the doorway into deeper understanding.

The trick isn’t to say the most interesting thing in the room or ask interesting questions, it’s to be interested.

When you ask someone, “How’s your day going?” or “What’s been keeping you busy lately?” and actually listen to their answer, you’re signaling that you care about their world. That’s the quiet magic of small talk: it turns strangers into people, and people into friends.

Start simple. Ask open questions that invite reflection instead of yes or no answers. Things like:

“How’s work treating you this week?”

“What’s something you’ve been enjoying lately?”

“Do you like slow days or do they make you restless?”

Then, build on what they share. Match their tone. Add your own small experiences (“I know what you mean, I kind of love quiet days too”). These little back-and-forth moments help conversations feel easy and balanced.

The value of small talk isn’t in the words themselves, it’s in the attention you give others. Over time, these small exchanges build trust, warmth, and familiarity. They’re how relationships begin, how empathy grows, and how we remind each other that we’re seen.

So don’t underestimate small talk. Practice curiosity. Ask, listen, share. Every person you meet carries a piece of the story you haven’t heard yet, and small talk is how you start uncovering it.

This also acts as a public filter

If you small talk with someone and they react positively (or at least don't treat you weird) ... then the person you are small talking to is a ~~decent~~ RECEPTIVE person who is also open to a bit of communication.

If you small talk with someone and they immediately treat you weird, walk away or just don't want to deal with you ... then chances are, it was a good thing you said something to eliminate any negative interaction.

EDIT: changed a word in my phrasing

My government seems to think otherwise.

I have no fucking clue how to do small talk. I tend to get too serious too fast and feel very incompetent and overwhelmed with this kind of almost meaningless noise. So it either ends in awkward silence or in me saying something too heavy for that kind of conversation, which tends to make things awkward as well.

Example, option A:
"It's so nice and warm today."
"Yeah, but did you know that death rates of sensitive population groups like elderly have increased due to more and intense heatwaves caused by global warming?"

Option B:
"It's so nice and warm today."
"Yeah."
[silence]

Maybe I should get checked for autism, lol.

GREETINGS FELLOW HUMAN, I AM A NON THREATENING HUMAN, NO NEED TO AVOID BEING NEAR MY PRESENCE

Honestly, my favorite people are the ones who love to talk and are horribly desperate to babble to potential listeners. I'm not much of a talker but I absolutely dont mind looking you in the eyes and nodding my head as you talk about your hobby or current going ons.

In bigger social groups I noticed this weird thing fellow humans tend to do where they all want a slice of being the talker/ center of attention and constantly cut off eachother or tune out current speaker waiting for them to shut up so they can start their monkey babble turn.

This behavior absolutely infuriates me and I refuse to take part in it. I would rather just be silent and let you say your piece than interrupt the flow.

As a knock on effect people subconsciously notice I'm not competing with them for talk time and am sending them constant listening signals like looking in the eye nodding head "mhm got you" stuff. This seems to really go a long way with making friendly with talkative types with minimal effort.

This lasts right until I learn that someone likes bugs. Then I just show them the most recent bug picture I have taken. So much less energy. So much less nerve-wracking. I want to show you my cool bug photos and I want to see your cool bug photos. We know what we're about (we're about sharing cool bug photos).

It's me. I'm one of the great many who needed this. Thank you OP!

is making animal noises at each-other a sufficient way of small talk? asking for ourselves.

"Hi, I'm very friendly, you don't have to be afraid of me, i don't want to harm you, we are identical!"

*friendly noises

If it's to simply make noises to assert non-violent intentions, then I say we can be more than our natural urges without giving into these innate tendencies. Sincerely, an introvert.