Stay away from easy answers/self-help grifters.
Think about your goals and be mindful in the choices you make, whether or not what you’re doing today is helpful or detrimental to those.
this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2025
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"Pls buy my book on how to become successful! 🥺👉👈"
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"To become successful, write a self-help book to sell to people. Make sure you advertise it often and include a lot of fake reviews."
My suggestion is to be mindful of things you are doing and make decisions about continuing them or ending them and plan accordingly. I tend to recommend reading up on Stoicism as it help contextualize.
A more specific plan is to pick one thing you want to improve and practice that. Try and do this once a day and make it a habit. After you’ve adopted a couple of good habits, you’ll be ready to try stopping something, thought that is tougher to achieve.
thank you, I'll read into Stoicism. face value, looks like an interesting philosophy to live by.
What are you having trouble with thats on your mind. Gotta be more specific
lol, wow.. don't even know where to begin tbh. I'm just a mess and want to fix my life. don't know what day it is, don't use calendars, can't manage any tasks, low motivation, never know where/what to start with, horrible with money, house is a dumpster.. almost literally. I forget/never know when garbage pickup is so I forget to put it out, a lot.. so it sits in the house for 2 weeks, unless I forget again. tried making lists of things, forget or lose the lists.
I'm just horrible at being an adult in general.
If at all possible: See a doctor and check if you have adhd or other issues and perhaps get treatment if it turns out you do. This sounds a lot like a mental health issue that could be a range of things, including just depression.
This please. Do you have a Dr. OP?
Do you happen to have ADHD? That sounds like some pretty severe executive disfunction, which is common with ADHD. You might need more than random Internet advice.
Do you have a Dr?
I'm being described by this comment and I don't like it 💀
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To "fix your life" you need to decide what is broken, make a plan, and stick to it.
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If you have mental health issues you need to address them. However an issue doesn't just mean you can just blame that and do nothing, basically that means go to #1.
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Saying you are just bad at something and then not following through is a copout. You forget calendars and lists? You forget your cell phone in random places and then have to replace it too then right? No. Well any modern smart phone has a calendar and a to do list. Again return to #1.
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The next big one most people state is they don't have the time. Again it's a copout unless you are working 80 hours a week or have a multi hour daily commute. The truth is you don't make the time, see statement #1.
I'm dealing with the same stuff with my adult stepson. He works about 20 hours per week and complains about his job but won't take the steps to learn new skills or get a driver's license. There are 168 hours a week, in those 168 hours an average person sleeps 56 hours. That means there are 112 hours per week you are awake, subtract the number of hours you work and then figure out how many you are currently wasting to play games and watch TV or just goof off. Divide that time in half and dedicate that time to doing the crap you don't like doing and get it done, then go learn a skill that will put you in a better job or make your life better.
You have a lot of choices in life, but through action or inaction you make a decision. You can either make better decisions or accept the results of the decisions you make.
It might sound harsh but the world isn't going to hold your hand like a toddler, it is however going to kick you square in the face a few times. And believe me I know exactly how it feels.
A little more context would be helpful, but in general, I think Atomic Habits and Digital Minimalism remain two of the best books in this general vein.
Wow. Huge topic. And it depends on a ton of things. And I definitely don't feel like I've got it all figured out myself.
If you're young and just for the first time having to manage your own affairs rather than depend on parents to help with that, then self-help kind of stuff might well be a fine place to start. (Just avoid Jordan Peterson.) If you're older and feel like you've had the time needed to develop those skills and still don't have them, it's likely there's something deeper going on that might benefit from therapy.
I personally cared for my ailing grandmother for a long time. And that shit's hard work, and takes a lot of time. In the process, I let a lot of things go by the wayside like yardwork, home repair, and organization. Now that she has passed, I find myself with a lot of remedial work to catch up on. I feel like I'm making progress. It's frustrating and slow, but it is progressing and that's the important part.
it's for sure the latter. never developed the skills and well... yeah, I live like a teenager and nothing gets done. like, nothing.. I don't have a life routine or whatever people use/think to get stuff done. I dunno, I'm just lost
That sounds like exactly the sort of thing therapy is for. I'm no kind of expert, but it's very likely there's a lot of deeper things keeping you from developing achieving the kind of skills you're wanting. And it sounds very much like it's a problem in your life that's causing you a lot of anxiety and pain. I think if there's any way you can do talk therapy, that's the place to start.
For me it all started with a to-do list.
A list of what I want to do daily helped me form better habits, a list of what I want done by the end of the week helps me stop procrastinating.
That is a very broad question.
What specifically are you wanting to improve right now?
I mean, this is an incredibly vague question since you haven't really told us... anything. However, a few tips:
- Focus on what you do want, rather than on what you don't want. You want to be better? Great! Be better how? You want to have structure - okay, sure, but why? What goals are having more structure serving? Tell us what you want.
- If you are lacking self control, the answer, almost universally, is other people. If your family is waiting at home for you to have dinner, you are less likely to eat taco bell. If you want to hit the gym, it helps to recruit a friend to work out witb you three days per week. Want to excell at work? Make friends with coworkers and ask for their help solving problems. Having trouble getting up in the morning? You'll have less trouble if you have a job where everyone is counting on you to show up.
- Don't try to stop bad habits. Just let them fade away as your life fills up with better things. When you notice a bad habit that you want to quit, ask "what need is this fulfilling?" and then experiment with other ways to get that need met.
Beyond that, there are different systems for doing life admin, but I'm guessing you arent really at that place rn.