RPGMemes

Flaming sword. Only the handle sets on fire.

And I'm stealing that idea for my game, and that one, and this one is cool too ...

Amulet of speak with the dead - cursed. Once attuned the user can speak with the dead, but can only interpret chat with the living as wailing, any attempts to speak with the living will sound like wailing to the other entity. Removing the item does not break the curse.

This sword is enchanted with fire magic!

...The handle is made of super flammable material, though, and a bunch of people got third degree burns trying to weild it. There was a massive recall.

You know what "recall" means, though? Collector's item! These are rare af.

A magical sword that extends, but the longer you have it, the longer the incantation you have to say to get it to extend... Maybe show it some pictures of people cleaved in two, or try stabbing somewhere else to get it going.

Harder tack: Magically compressed ships biscuits, commissioned by an admiral who heard of lembas bread but found it too expensive. His corpse was found in the harbour waters a week later.

One contains enough calories to last you a week of hard work, but you need a chisel and a sledgehammer to crack it into pieces and one hand-sized biscuit weighs 3kg. It tastes like cement dust.

Bag of Olding: A very generously sized bag of holding, however it unfortunately speeds up the passage of time significantly inside it. Don't store food in it!

Praytell the price on yon banana blade to your left, fair merchant? I find it somewhat a-peeling