I would want to be friends with every character in this fictional story.
this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2025
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I wouldn't, because Starbucks. There's 100% a superior hipster/indie/whatever appropriate gender coffee shop within 2-3 blocks. Very possibly right next door. Why are you okay with burnt espresso?
They cover the burnt flavour with a quart of sugar, syrups, and creams so you don't even taste the coffee- Oh, wait second...
No, at $4500 a cup, I'm sure it's the best.
It's actually kinda the other way around. My uncle lived in Seattle for years, and he told me he ran into some Starbucks executive once. He asked about the burnt coffee, and they told him it was intentional so you could still taste "coffee" through all the sugar, syrups, and creams.
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There isn't around me. They used to be but he had to close down because it turned out he wasn't paying for all of his electricity (somehow the electrical company were only billing him for a quarter of what he was actually using) when they amended the bill it was pretty obviously unaffordable.
The rent is ridiculous because it's in the commuter belt for a major city even though the town itself is kind of a dump.
So all I have is the option of Starbucks or driving like 25 minutes into the city and trying to find something there.
Because people need their coffee flavored milkshakes, ok?
And you're gate keeping coffee if you dare to suggest otherwise, ok?
And also you are not allowed to tell anyone that they have a morning milkshake addiction, okkkk????
People on Lemmy don't seem to remember that rural landscapes exist where stuff like this isn't true. And people on Lemmy are somehow even more up their own ass than redditors, jfc
I bought an espresso machine becuase that is absolutely not true. I hate Starbucks with a passion, but every other "hipster" coffee place is even more expensive and you get absolutely crap coffee. And there aren't as many around as people make it out to be.
This specific story may be fictional but it is 100% plausible at the Seattle Broadway location.
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For folks not believing: I have totally done shit like this. At a state fair and my fiancé didn't want to ride the ferris wheel. I overheard another couple who was having the same conversation so I ran over to the guy and asked him if he'd ride the ferris wheel with me. He said yes, we held hands and skipped down the road to get in line. Had a great time and took selfies together to send back to our partners.
Great start for swinger lifestyle 😏🤭
And then you fucked in the Ferris wheel and everyone clapped as they saw you in the sky.
/s
This isn't actually unbelievable, I'm just being silly.
The particular story may be fake, but 100% these things happen.
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And then everyone clapped
Man, I've been there. You get locked into the bit over awkward indecision on whether to stop, flee the scene or keep going but you're already in motion so you keep going by default.
Something something random act of genuine kindness
Something something male physical touch
I’m upset because we never find out what exactly was crazy.
Tons of people in line.
Cool story bro
And then everyone clapped?
Cheeks, yes
Y’all don’t know enough theatre folks. We will always commit to a bit for a laugh.
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YES. I love this stupid copypasta. I quote parts of it all the time and nobody ever knows what I'm talking about.
If this happened, this right here is the kind of commitment to the bit that I want to strive to match.
This is some obnoxiously fake quirky shit
That man's name? Albert Einstein.
I really love this !
now that’s THE play
That guy might be face blind.
Some fun AM entertainment
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