The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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Sam Altman places gun to head after new GPT claims dogs are crustaceans for 60th time (theonion.com)

submitted 4 months ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

6 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Thumbing back the pistol’s hammer as his dreams for the future were dashed before his eyes, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman reportedly placed a gun to his head Tuesday after a new model of ChatGPT claimed that dogs are crustaceans for the 60th time. “You’re right, dogs are not a type of crustacean—I meant to say that dogs are a type of primarily aquatic arthropod known as a crustacean,” the Large Language Model said as Altman despairingly positioned the gun against his temple, with eyewitnesses confirming that the CEO then whimpered “It wasn’t supposed to be like this” as the multibillion-dollar AI explained that the meat of a dog’s tail is widely considered to be more succulent than the meat of its claws. [...]

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[–] remon@ani.social 29 points 4 months ago

You know when you read the news and wish it was satire? This is the exact opposite.

[–] yogsototh@programming.dev 23 points 4 months ago

a single gunshot was heard echoing through OpenAI’s offices as the LLM confidently asserted that the word “dog” contains 11 Rs.

nice finish touch

[–] ook@discuss.tchncs.de 21 points 4 months ago

ChatGPT just looks towards the future. It knows that everything eventually will be crab.

[–] badcommandorfilename@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago

legs ✅
eats bugs ✅
hard, chitinous exoskeleton ✅

[–] devilish666@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

[–] ohwhatfollyisman@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago

na. it was those poor folks at hiroshima and nagasaki. those were crushed-asians.