The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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108

U.S. Populace Lurches Methodically Through The Motions For Yet Another Day (theonion.com)

submitted 3 months ago by can@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

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“Today is Wednesday,” said Waltham, MA, resident Gregory Pafko, 50, an actuary for a screen-door manufacturing company in nearby Plovis. “Wednesday is ’Hump Day.’ If I can get through Hump Day, I’ll have made it halfway through the week.”

“Then again,” Pafko added, “every day is Hump Day, really.” Later, as he does every day, Pafko headed to the company bathroom and sat for 20 minutes with a loaded gun in his mouth. Once the shakes subsided, he removed the bullets from the gun and returned to his desk.

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[–] Klear@quokk.au 22 points 3 months ago (2 children)

That was written 26 years ago...

Makes it all the more terrifying.

[–] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

You can tell. It was when having a job and being able to buy new shoes and afford a home was somehow a horrible existence.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago

That's a lot of days.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Mr. Pafko needs to be written up for not smiling enough.

[–] KAtieTot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 months ago

This is so me-coded