There's a distinction to point out between "absolutely no business getting made" vs "the final product turned out to be shit". I can't really think of anything that belongs to the former... I haven't actually seen most of the films mentioned here so far, except the SW sequels... which turned out to be shit, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't have made SW sequels at all: they just shouldn't have made them shit.
this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2025
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I was more curious about the former but got a lot more of the latter. Unfortunately, it would be difficult to phrase the question to get only the desired result. Oh well.
My initial thought seeing the title was Megalopolis but I don't know the budget for it. Haven't seen it yet, so I can't speak to the quality of it, but I had read a ton of shit talking about how hard it was for Copolla to get it made and then distributed after he did make it. It sounds like the only thing that fits the question.
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The Last Jedi.
I left the theatre angry that they spent enough money to take mankind back to the moon on something that stupid.
I can't leave it at that. I have to add some details.
Both the empire and the rebels repeatedly made tactical decisions so stupid a five-year old would know better. The opening battle involved sending unprotected bombers against a ship with anti-bomber defences and keeping the enemy commander talking on the phone to delay his response. That works in a Mel Brooks movie, not in Star Wars.
They killed a fan-favourite character off-screen. What, was the puppet too old to reprise its role?
The empire's main guy decided to chase the rebels down instead of destroying them immediately. For fun, I guess.
Phasma's a badass. Except that she capitulates at the first sign of personal danger.
All Holdo had to say was "yes, there's a plan. Not telling you what because of operational secrecy". Instead she expected Poe to blindly follow orders when he'd already shown he couldn't do that.
"Oh no, the sacred texts!" ...that you attempted to burn a moment ago.
I highly highly recommend this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuuDTnMPMgc
I think you'll like it a lot. I realized that bathos is what I hated about the Last Jedi. They killed so many truly deep moments to have stupid jokes. They couldn't let anything just be serious. It ruined the tone of the movie, couldn't decide if they wanted to be a comedy or a drama, and so they did neither.
My favorite bit:
Leia gives Rey a pendant and tells her that she can use that to track them wherever they go.
In the SAME SCENE, with NO CUTS, they are tracked by the first order and shout "THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"
You just described, IN THE SAME SCENE, how it is, in fact, possible.
Bonus: Putting a tracker in the Falcon was how the Death Star found Yavin IV in the very first movie.
All Holdo had to say was “yes, there’s a plan. Not telling you what because of operational secrecy”. Instead she expected Poe to blindly follow orders when he’d already shown he couldn’t do that.
Well, he did fine following orders in the first movie, and then they changed the entire character in the second movie but kept the same name. I have no idea why they did that.
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Is this the one with horses in space?? I fuckin hated that. Perfectly encapsulated the overdone-ness of it all
No, the horses were in Rise of Skywalker.
The Last Jedi was the one with the "Can you hear me now?" gags, and Luke tossing the lightsaber away.
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And yet... it's my favorite post-OT movie. It could've used another draft to tighten a couple things up here and there, but it was good.
Now... TRoS is one of the worst films I've ever seen in my life and is the only Star Wars property I've only seen a single time and never will watch again. Hell I watched Book of Boba Fett twice. Shit, I've watched In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale twice. I'd have to go back to Battlefield Earth to think of an equally terrible film.
But when watching The Last Jedi I feel nothing but joy.
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The Hobbit trilogy. It's hard to understand how Peter Jackson could mess up movie after movie after movie like that.
Simple:
He and his crew had 2 years of prep for Lotr, storyboards, finding locations, making props and sets, etc.
New Line Cinemas forced him to do that same prep in 6 months for the Hobbit. Allegedly they didn't even fully finish the script and had to cut in Del Toro scenes.
The forced trilogy structure also really hurt it. When the Hobbit film adaptation was initially announced (at the time just two movies, even), I thought that it didn't make any sense to adapt a book shorter than any of the individual LotR installments into multiple movies. When they revealed it would be a trilogy, I knew it was some studio decision to milk it for money and didn't have high hopes.
There is actually a fan edit floating around online somewhere called "The Hobbit: Extended Edition" which, contrary to what the name might imply, cuts down the trilogy into a single movie of comparable length to the LotR Extended films. Still not perfect, but a huge improvement in quality just from cutting out all of the extra garbage that didn't need to be there.
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I think it was Prime's Theater where I learnt that for the Smaug fight scene for movie 2, they planed the set the night before, painted the next morning, filmed, and the paint was still wet when the sets were taken down.
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Borderlands. How did they spend that much money and none of the decision makers stop and think "nope this is crap"
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All of the Jurassic Parks sequels.
JP 3 is the best! 92 minutes - all of the action, no tired butt.
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The Minecraft Movie
I loved it. It was slop, but was good slop. I think it's fun to watch with a friend.
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Avatar.
I mean yeah it was a shit film but it obviously had "business" being made because it was the highest grossing film ever for a while. I think it was the start of Holywood going out their way to crack the Chinese market (or at least the first time they did it successfully).
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Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
At least it was better than Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
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Pearl Harbor. 5 minutes of cool CGI, rest of it being absolutely forgettable.
It was so bad that Team America World Police had a song about how bad it was as their ballad.
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