memes

5 - 8 - 4 - 2 - 1 - 3 - 7 - 6

I'm really not a big white potato fan but sweet potatoes and onions are delicious

Yes. To all of them.

I'm not too fussy about my deep fried treats. They're all no. 1 in my book. Except sweet potato, they can fuck off. They taste fine, but why are they always soggy?

Why not #9?

1. Tater tots are basically an entire potential meal of their own. Not a French fry, but I may actually prefer them as a possible main dish.

2. The best French fries. They are the perfect side.

3. If you want to fancy it up a bit. Suitable for formal occasions.

4. Taking the one-dimensional line of the French fry and extrapolating it out to two dimensions. Still a good ketchup conveyance, but starting to get into the issue I'm going to bring up with...

5, 6, 7. Not a good enough ratio of crispy outer fried surface to gooey potato inner. I prefer crisp, but when I bite one of these, I have a good chance of just getting a mouthful of scalding hot potato napalm, or what's worse, cold potato cement. Not ideal.

'8. Yeccch.

8, 2 4, 3, 1, 6, 7, 5

Assuming they onion rings are beer batter and the curly fries are from Arby's.

• Wedges
• Curly
• Zigzag
• Shoestring
• Waffle
• Tots
• Sweet Potato (not a potato but closer than an onion)
• Onion Rings (not a potato, would be 3 otherwise)

list is missing Fried Tofu

since we're apparently just including any random fuckin food you can fry

Doesn't matter, is potato. And onion rings. All are awesome.

2: Top tier. I would suck a curly fry-wrapped dick as a side dish to my communion.

8: As pictured, yes. With their typical batter style that allows the onion to slide out? Fucking garbage. 1: A solid choice that reheats well and consistently delivers the yum.

7: Tasty and a fun puzzle as you try to reconstruct the potato.

3: Plain tots? Fuck outa here. Bump that shit up with some totchos.

4: Good in theory, dry as fuck in practice. Texture is inconsistent and offensive to autism.

5: What the fuck is wrong with you? Deadass. Explain your trauma to me.

6: Somehow chalk that reheats into more chalk. Your mom said not to fast food and then pulled these out the oven. Worse than a sweet potato fry.

1, 7, 6, 4, 8, 3, 2, 5

I'm gonna have to lock in Onion Rings as my final answer.

Most of these are good, just for different things. I want waffle fries at the bar; I want shoestring fries at the burger place; I want wedges at the cafe on the corner.

Except the zigzags. I don't think I've ever had a good zigzag.

What the heck kind of list is this?

Where are the steak fries?

Where are the cheese curds? Fucking profligates is deep fried cheese too good for ya?

Best to worst:

• wedges (like a mini baked potato, but better!)

• shoestring (a tried & true classic)

• curly (the perfect blend of potato & seasoning)

• zigzag (sometimes can be a bit mushy)

• tots (sometimes give me heartburn for some reason)

• waffle (often don’t get cooked all the way, if they stick together)

• onion rings (a decent alternative to potato based side, but I can’t eat more than a few)

• sweet potato (they just don’t fry right. The texture gets weird and the taste is off)

If we are rating the best type of fries then onion rings are last, being that they aren't even potato.

27318645

1,5,7,8,3,4,2,6

34278561

1-4, 6-8 YESSSSSSS 5 NO!

Seasoned fries for robbed

I’ll just take whatever. I’m not picky.

The top three are Shoestring, Curly, and Wedges, though not necessarily in that order. I still have not managed to figure out how the fuck restaurants make their shoestring (and steak) fries so fucking good.

Next are waffle fries and onion rings. They're okay.

Sweet Potato fries and tots after that. Just not my thing.

Whoever likes zigzag/crinkle-cut fries is a monster. May god have mercy on their twisted souls.

The secret winner though is zucchini fries, which are mana from the heavens.

Whatever as long as it's not sweet potato.