this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 36 comments
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[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 74 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I identify as electrical (pronouns: zip/zap).

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I was actually raised by a single umpire and everyone just assumed I would turn out umpire too but I'm actually electrical

[–] bampop@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Nobody is born an umpire, you become an umpire if you get bitten by one but umpire parents always have electrical babies

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Same, literally 😅 its my job

[–] SippyCup@feddit.nl 2 points 10 months ago

Username checks out.

[–] lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 10 months ago

Happy for you that you finally get your recognition!

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 2 points 10 months ago
[–] abfarid@startrek.website 32 points 10 months ago (7 children)

What are they implying with that wide-ass door for women?

[–] argh_another_username@lemmy.ca 20 points 10 months ago

I don’t like yo mama jokes. I just think about them.

But seriously, strollers and wheelchairs.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It’s probably for ADA compliance

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Compliance with their wide asses!

[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 2 points 10 months ago

I like wide asses and I cannot lie

[–] VonReposti@feddit.dk 9 points 10 months ago

wide-ass

They're probably implying exactly this.

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Maybe for strollers?

[–] Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Also the only one with a key pad!?

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I can't extract a yo momma joke from that though

[–] Iapetus@slrpnk.net 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If yo mama has wheels, she needs wheelchair access toilets.

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 1 points 10 months ago

Nah, she would've been a bike.

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

I thought this was America!

[–] joella@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)

gasp there's a transformer in the electrical bathroom!

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 6 points 10 months ago

"My name is Optimus Prime..."

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I’m tired of umpires being discriminated against! They are not “separate but equal”. I say we treat them like the humans they pretend to be.

[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 9 points 10 months ago

I’ll stop discriminating against umpires when they learn to see.

[–] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 12 points 10 months ago

Decidedly identifying as electrical if that's an option.

[–] myster0n@feddit.nl 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

How do you become an umpire? Do you become one when you're bitten by another umpire?

[–] theneverfox@pawb.social 1 points 10 months ago

You get hit by a baseball. Then you're cursed with an overwhelming fear of getting hit by baseballs

This compels you to get protective equipment and hide behind a guy (who's entire job is to catch the ball if it makes it past the batter)

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

They should have the umpires sign in braille

[–] random_character_a@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

There is a Finnish hick t-shirt text "Don't touch electrician when you are wet".

This is because electrician in Finnish is "sähkömies" and is literally translated "electric man"

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 5 points 10 months ago

Are umpires electric?

[–] griff@lemmings.world 4 points 10 months ago

welcome to the multiverse