this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 16 comments
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[–] preussischblau@lemmy.ca 37 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I really rather like oatmeal raisin cookies.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 6 points 1 day ago

As long as they are done properly, with a bit of cinnamon at least, they are delicious.

I've had both good and bad versions.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago

There are dozens of us, dozens!

[–] dumbass@quokk.au 3 points 1 day ago

BURN THE HEATHEN!

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 6 points 1 day ago

I don't ask for much but if the cookie dough god does exist may he produce unlimited cookies inside every evil person on the planet. Let's go easy, 1 cookie per minute for the first day. Double that every hour until they repent... I mean rip and pop.

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What's the point? Water to wine is really cool, shit to fish is also cool. But slightly change the cookie ingredients? That's my grandmother's level. She's a nice woman but doesn't claim some voodoo-smoodoo goddo powers.

[–] makyo@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Raisins to chocolate is absolutely god tier

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Have you bought your god at Temu? Replace it with something less pathetic. Carrots to chicken tier at least.

[–] alaphic@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Bro, carrots to chicken? Really? You literally had anything to anything to choose from here - while attempting to literally one-up a god, mind - sky's the limit and everything, and that's what you settle on?

Not rocks into gold, sand into heroin, water into a 40 year old scotch, pee into milkshakes; nah, that'd be fuckin lame compared to carrots into motherfuckin chicken! I mean, I get it, kinda, cuz I'm not into carrots and would prefer chicken in its place 100% of the time, but... I'm just sayin, compared to some of the possibilities that's like mid at best, prolly more like a sidegrade if we're being honest.

Oooh, every other flavor Starburst into pink! Boom. Talk about unlimited cosmic power

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Shhh, you're frightening the guy whose max dreams were raisins to chocolate. Don't overwhelm him. Be calm and nice.

[–] makyo@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Yeah I'm really quivering over here

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Jesus warranted being followed even if he didn't perform any miracles... I mean, whatever connection you think he had to God, the man was a brave anti-imperialist and revolutionary thinker (and a proto-feminist/egalitarian too), after all. Then the Romans hollowed out his ideology and the rest is history.

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 4 points 1 day ago

Not that I disagree, but username checks out.

[–] altkey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

But would Jesus complain if there was a mistake in his order, would he swap it himself or just let it be?

[–] Hylactor@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago

The real miracle was creating chocolate chip cookies 1,908 years or so before they were invented.

[–] thagoat@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 1 day ago

Our savior! Under his eye!