Neurodivergence

It's all about delivery of the message and "reading the room".

In my own neurodivergent experiences, those two "tricks" I mentioned above are damn near impossible.

In all cases that I have had issues with helping someone, I usually failed at asking myself the following:

1. Did the person ask for assistance, or, did I ask if they needed assistance?
2. Did I pre-judge that person's intelligence level (or lack of intelligence..)?
3. Was the person already frustrated and I failed to notice?
4. Could I potentially make the overall situation worse if I interject?
5. Am I actually walking down the street of a large city where interacting with random strangers might not be healthy? (/s)

Over my years of failing at interaction, I have built mental flow chart of how to interact with others. It doesn't always work and that is OK!

TBH, I kind of loosely define this is an internalized derivative of "masking", but not unhealthy. I have my own little checklists that I can think about and tweak. Failure is always an option and an opportunity to learn how to interact with others better next time.

@LadyButterfly !B

the neurodivergent experience is thinking you're sharing fun, interesting or helpful information in a normal human conversational fashion while they think you're an asshole lecturing them or looking down at them like they're stupid and also that no matter how many times you have this experience
you always think you're doing it the right way this time

Maybe I’m smarter than you if you think I’m talking down to you while having a normal ass conversation 🤷🏻‍♀️

Idk, if they think I'm being a condescending asshole in our normal conversation where I'm sharing something i care about...
Maybe that's a them issue and not mine.

People who actually care about you will enjoy and appreciate your little rants about the things you care about. Others can be cast away.

@LadyButterfly

No, but it took a lot of practice to get to where the answer is no. It takes some listening to figure out what information they actually need to make sure you only give them key insights, and more practice knowing how to deliver those insights in a way they feel is humble instead of showoffy.

Just look for feedback during the entire time you're talking to them, instead of just at the end or when they stop you, and you can start getting better at it. It's kinda easy to railroad through a thought if you're not consciously trying to watch or listen, and giving plenty of small breaks for them to give feedback.

Yup. This time it'll be different

@LadyButterfly it's easier to share information with a cat, they don't feel their status is threatened because someone else knows something, they just, yknow, think you're making strange noises

@LadyButterfly

I know the feeling.

@LadyButterfly

Pretty much on the nose.

I've learned to ask first. "I have info on this subject that I think is interesting and useful, would you like me to share?" - so if they get bored, at least they were complicit.

@LadyButterfly Very common feeling😬

@LadyButterfly

'Fraid so. 🙁

While it made me a good lecturer/educator, it hasn't done much for personal relationships.

...doesn't neurodivergency include depression, and anxiety?

@LadyButterfly Honestly, yes. Though I'm not sure if I'm neurodivergent. I've never been diagnosed, but the more I see people sharing experiences like this the more I'm starting to feel that I might be.