RealFurryHours

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A community for discussing all things about the furry fandom; fluff or tough.

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Am I being strung along or just overthinking? (pawb.social)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Kolanaki@pawb.social to c/real_furry_hours@pawb.social

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Last week I met a guy through Barq (that actually was real and not a bot). We met up, had dinner, spent some time together and it was fun. He invited me over the other day, also, and had invited me to spend the night tonight.

But then all day yesterday he didn't respond or talk, which got me a bit upset and worried he was just gonna ghost me today. Well, they didn't ghost me but they did have something come up last minute and had to cancel.

I'm pretty upset. But I don't know if I should be. I have a few mental issues, including BPD and being on the autism spectrum so I don't really feel like I understand people, overthink everything, get anxious and have trouble dealing with rejection.

At the same time, they clearly indicated they are in a polycule relationship and have another boyfriend. I've been in similar situations before and most of the time, it's just a fucking game and I'm being played.

I seriously just wanna die rn. 🥺

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[–] Dojan@pawb.social 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

BARQ is kind of rubbish in terms of messaging and whatnot. I feel like I often see funny nosql API errors.

If the guy is already in a dedicated polycule, it makes sense that his attention will be divided and plans might fall through in case other things crop up. Met a few people in polycules, and that kind of thing can get tricky to navigate even inside of it unless all parts are living together more or less.

This'll be a bit cliche but it bears saying; I've seen you around a bunch, and from what very little I know, you strike me as a very affable person. If this doesn't end up working for you, there will be others out there. Be patient with yourself, and treat yourself with kindness. 💖

[–] knightly@pawb.social 5 points 1 week ago

Ditto. You're a cool doggo, Kolanaki!