BARQ is kind of rubbish in terms of messaging and whatnot. I feel like I often see funny nosql API errors.
If the guy is already in a dedicated polycule, it makes sense that his attention will be divided and plans might fall through in case other things crop up. Met a few people in polycules, and that kind of thing can get tricky to navigate even inside of it unless all parts are living together more or less.
This'll be a bit cliche but it bears saying; I've seen you around a bunch, and from what very little I know, you strike me as a very affable person. If this doesn't end up working for you, there will be others out there. Be patient with yourself, and treat yourself with kindness. ๐