this post was submitted on 27 May 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] orca@orcas.enjoying.yachts 246 points 1 year ago (74 children)

This is a wild story about

  • how running with scissors is a bad idea
  • alligator bites can’t even stop a dude on meth
  • cops continue to have no clue what de-escalation tactics are
[–] turtlesareneat@discuss.online 19 points 1 year ago

What if they were meth alligators, and the bites are why he's high? Then it's that much more tragic for you to judge.

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[–] MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world 57 points 1 year ago

This is a prime example of when we just need to net gun a dude.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 44 points 1 year ago (4 children)

A witness told detectives they saw the suspect run at deputies with the shears. He was tased twice, but it didn't stop him.

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said he climbed into the passenger side of a PCSO patrol vehicle, trying to get a deputy’s rifle.

That’s when two deputies, identified as a trainee and his trainer, opened fire on the suspect, killing him.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

If you look up "failing up" in the dictionary, there is a picture of Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd staring back at you with his dead, dead eyes.

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[–] HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The epitome of FloridaMan is now deceased. There will never be another like him.

[–] Kernal64@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

FloridaMan is like the Slayer. When one dies, another is called.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 15 points 1 year ago

I would say killing a Florida Man is like cutting the head off a hydra.

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[–] ChuckTheMonkey@fedia.io 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

GTA VI live action promotion is wild.

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[–] liffeyman@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Can some copy/paste article please. Site is blocked in my country

[–] KoalaUnknown@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago

A man in Polk County was shot and killed by deputies on Monday after they say he was armed with garden shears and acting erratically after surviving an apparent gator attack. 

Polk County Sheriff’s Office deputies began searching for Timothy Schultz, 42, just before 6 a.m. after a convenience store clerk reported he was acting "bizarre."

Deputies spend about 40 minutes looking for the man, WFLA says. 

Schultz then began swimming in an alligator-infested lake, nearby residents told officials. 

A witness tried to throw Schultz a life preserver and another witness said Schultz growled at them when they tried to help, PCSO said. 

Witnesses told deputies an alligator was spotted close to him as he swam across the lake.

Schultz emerged from the lake with an apparent alligator bite and began walking between houses while holding a pair of garden shears. 

PCSO said he then used a brick to attempt to break into a resident’s truck.

A witness told detectives they saw the suspect run at deputies with the shears. He was tased twice, but it didn't stop him. 

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said he climbed into the passenger side of a PCSO patrol vehicle, trying to get a deputy’s rifle.

That’s when two deputies, identified as a trainee and his trainer, opened fire on the suspect, killing him. 

Judd said Schultz had a lengthy criminal history that included several arrests for methamphetamine. 

This is a developing story and will be updated

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I guess that solves the question if gators or cops are better to come across in a swamp.

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The police do more harm than good

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 7 points 1 year ago

Isn't that why they were created?

[–] NotAGamer@lemmy.org 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] zewm@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

That headline was a better story arc than Last of Us season 2.

[–] tostiman@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

Region locked

[–] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Indeed, one whacked out MAGAt.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We need more Florida Man stories.

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