this post was submitted on 18 May 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 113 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

... goes to pick up the truck and rips off the front quarter panel .... takes another hand hold, rips off the front end .... take another hold, wheel just easily comes off ... gets frustrated ....

.... crumples the whole thing into a metal ball and throws it

[–] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 30 points 2 weeks ago

came to write this comment.

That trashheap of a vehicle would be useless as a throwable object.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Or wads it up into comically oversized metal boxing gloves.

[–] ZeroGravitas@lemm.ee 40 points 2 weeks ago

In case you want to use this for your homebrew games at home, you can take the stat block of a rusted bastard sword.

[–] BlackAura@lemmy.world 38 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Not sure if typo or honest mistake in your title but just in case:

Cookies crumble (break into smaller pieces).

Sheet metal and/or aluminum foil crumples (crushes / becomes creased).

[–] PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I dunno. Cybertrucks probably would crumble in a crash. Or a minor fender bender. Or just sitting there in a parking lot.

[–] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The sides falling off was in the news wasn't it?

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Front fell off too. That is typical, mind you.

[–] chuymatt@startrek.website 2 points 2 weeks ago

We should tow them.

[–] leftzero@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 2 weeks ago

Just give them time to rust. A few minutes after a light rain should do.

[–] beastlykings@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's funny, my brain scanned right over that, I could've sworn he said crumple because I expected crumple

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 2 points 2 weeks ago

Might have seen it if it wasn't followed by "zones". I read it the same way. The brain fills in context, sometimes without looking close.

[–] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 25 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

i wonder if Superman was ever sued for destruction of private property for doing something like this.

I want a semi serious legal drama comedy regarding those kind of things, and thinking about it, she Hulk could have been that show. dealing with things like that lawsuit from the incredibles, or that superman case...

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

There was actually a 1950s issue where someone sold Superman insurance.

[–] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Action_Comics_Vol_1_346

Synopsis for Superman: "The Man Who Sold Insurance to Superman!" An insurance salesman sells Superman a policy guaranteeing $100,000,000,000 against his death or disappearance from the Earth.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That's a lot of 1950s money

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 5 points 2 weeks ago

I paid that much last week for Burger King.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

Sounds like Harvey Birdman needs a reboot

[–] Ledericas@lemm.ee 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

im pretty sure the govt of the world probably had a law, that excludes superman, or any other superhero from liablities of collateral damages.

[–] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 1 points 2 weeks ago

at the same time, there should be laws and a duty to minimise damage to a reasonable degree.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I mean he could just punch them, but if there is a Cybertruck around he should absolutely go for the car instead.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah it's always funny to me when Superman looks around for something softer than his skin to smash people with.

Bro, you can tank a train hitting at full speed and not flinch, what are you doing?

yucky humans, who knows where they have been!

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I can't envision an scenario where Superman would need to throw a car at someone. He has laser eyes and anything that can tank that or one of his punches could easily withstand a car.

[–] orbitz@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

And that's why you don't think when Superman solves something, he's nearly as fast as the Flash, he could have half the city's crimes taken care of in a few minutes without worrying about a random inconvenience that trips up the Flash.

This penny arcade comic shows it well enough.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 points 2 weeks ago

Wow their comics do weird stuff on mobile

This is my fault for being on mobile like a filthy casual 😔

[–] Damage@feddit.it 7 points 2 weeks ago

Mmmm... crumble zone

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 7 points 2 weeks ago

Critical hit, then AOE damage from the batteries igniting.

[–] Ledericas@lemm.ee 5 points 2 weeks ago

the passenger and drivers are crumple zones.

[–] RedFrank24@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Does Superman often throw cars at people? Why throw a car when a punch does more damage when you're Superman? Hulk would, but that's just because he likes to throw and smash things, not because he's being logical about it.

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

also for hulk there's a range aspect, he should be able to throw cars further and faster than he can jump. superman can fly almost instantly everywhere.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 points 2 weeks ago

Because cool (but yes it's silly)

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What about the collateral damage it causes when it explodes after being thrown at the bad guys?

[–] leftzero@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

*Bonus damage.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

additional damage

Not if it breaks in half after hitting Doomsday on the head.